1. It rained. Again. To mix it up a bit this time, there was hail and wind gusts of up to 72 mph. In Cleburne, a tractor trailer rig was knocked over. Which, since no one was seriously injured, I can say that I BET THAT WAS AWESOME.
2. An 83-year-old Cleburne man was stung by bees more than 100 times while mowing the lawn. To add insult to injury, they were his bees, from a hive he kept on his property to harvest honey. This is neither here nor there, but Cleburne seems to come up a lot in the news lately. Just looking through the tags we use here, I notice “Cleburne earthquakes,” “Cleburne beer store bikini girls,” “Cleburne High School,” and now all this. Feels more like it should be Gun Barrel City.
3. Here is a scenario. I am able to fashion a portal leading directly to Niagara Falls. When I open it, it will dump every last drop of water directly onto the levees protecting the city from the Trinity River. I decide to do so, but because I don’t think that will be destructive enough, I also rig the levees with a large amount of C4. Enough, as Keanu Reeves once said in Speed, to “put a hole in the world.” Also, because now I’m a comic-book super villain, I shower the immediate vicinity with radioactive material, hoping a sort of reverse Superman-meets-Swamp Thing emerges from the contaminated river and becomes my war machine. Just for fun, I buy all the nails and broken glass in North America and I scatter all of it around the site during my downtime. Anyway, I do all that — and the city would still decide to go ahead with the Trinity River project.
