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DMN Music Critic Mario Tarradell Continues Being Terrible At Critiquing Music

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Remember a few weeks back when we had some fun with Dallas Morning News music critic Mario Tarradell? How about now? Well, I may be “repellent and self-indulgent” (and, also, a “hard-drinking, chain-smoking, book-writing sonofabitch”), but I can still spot a lousy music critic. Do you see where I’m going with this?

A same-industry-working FBvian sent me a link to Mario’s latest opus, a review of Sunday’s Aerosmith/ZZ Top double bill at Starplex. (Yeah, I’m still calling it that.) A few highlights (?) after the jump.

First, there’s Steven Tyler blazing his way through “Dream On” while he stands on the stage’s catwalk as a fan blows his hair and a wall of steam rises up from the floor. He looked like he had some kind of rock ‘n’ roll aura.

DMN editors, take note: the “delete” key is at the top right of the keyboard. You can go character by character, or simply highlight a section and hit the key once.

Then, during “Love in an Elevator,” the lighting rigs and four rectangular video screens hanging over the band went up and down like, well, an elevator. Way cool.

COME ON.

The kicking rhythm section was comprised of drummer Joey Kramer, bassist David Hull (subbing for Tom Hamilton who is recovering from surgery) and guitarists Joe Perry and Brad Whitford.

Two problems: my 67-year-old father uses “kicking.” So that’s out. And I’m sort of picking nits here, but most often, when someone highlights the “rhythm section,” they are talking about the bassist and drummer. Not, as in this case, essentially the entire band.

Another visual, albeit a minor one: [ZZ Top front man Billy] Gibbons’ sneakers, one red and one black, looked nifty.

And so on. Look, I know it’s a tough economy, and us media folk should stick together. But, seriously, Dallas Morning News. You’re hemorrhaging readers. At least pretend like you’re trying. Having Mario Tarradell as your lead music critic is neither trying nor pretending like you’re trying. There are a ton of hungry, talented 23-year-olds out there. Find one. They’re cheap and hard-working. You may have even employed one as an intern. It’s not difficult.

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