I’m Sure This Will Get Everything Running Smoothly Again: The Conficker Worm

Coming tomorrow — maybe, maybe not — is the latest version of the Conficker worm, called by Slate tech columnist Farhad Majoo “the Bugatti of worms.” Talk to your IT guy. And even if you don’t use Windows, there could be trouble. Says Manjoo:

But having a safe machine doesn’t mean you’re safe. Conficker’s true aim may be to bring chaos to the Internet, at which point you might feel its wrath even if your computer is OK. When Conficker infects a host, it ensnares it into a botnet–a massive network of computers geared for unsavory ends. Botnets can spew out spam, mount denial-of-service attacks to bring down Web sites, or consume so much bandwidth that they drown out all other network traffic.

Sweet fancy Moses.

UPDATE: A same-building-working FBvian points me here and here, where an 11th-hour double guns to the worm is emerging.


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17 responses to “I’m Sure This Will Get Everything Running Smoothly Again: The Conficker Worm”

  1. Jb says:

    Remember when the Jehobo’s witnesses predicted the world to end in 1996. Then we had the Y2K bug which everyone said was different, then we had some 2001 and 2009 binary mini Y2k thing, then we had this Global Warming thing or something where we were supposed to be flooded over from melting ice caps and out of gasoline by last Christmas? Is this really something “New” and “Different” that “all the experts are talking about?” Is this what it has come to where we as a society have to take even an April Fools Day joke seriously…..? I am going to rebel and leave my computer on for the next 24 hours!!!!!! Whose with me? I am Spartacus!!!!!!

  2. Jeff Duffey says:

    I’m holding on to Eric’s effing hat.

  3. S.E. says:

    @jb – Me too, because it’s apparently not geared toward Macs.

    @Bethany – Nooooo! FB is interesting again, since you’re back!

  4. Evie says:

    I like to think of Bethany and Rawlins as FB’s very own Lisa and Abe Simpson and hope they’re always here to bring us joy during our tedious work days.

  5. Troll Doll says:

    Don’t forget about me.

  6. THX1140 says:

    Wrong person. C- for effort. I thought you didn’t like pseudonyms? Oh, I forgot that hypocrisy is is not a privilege. It’s a right.

  7. Marge The Third says:

    Okay, Marge, Marge, Marge, Marge, Marge et all. We get it. You don’t like Bethany. She’s a journalist and writer. That’s hardly a public figure. Try again.

  8. Homer says:


  9. Bart says:

    I’m just relieved to hear she’s getting herself a husband, someone to take care of her. These can be hard times for a blogger.

  10. Bethany says:

    *blinks* I need taking care of? I will beat you with my feminazi spikey heels now.

  11. Mr. Bethany says:

    We take care of each other equally. And very well, I might add.

  12. amanda says:

    There you are! And so glad the millon marge walk found you…

  13. Bethany says:

    And to think, this all started with a quote by HAL, from “Space Odyssey.”

    One you can’t even see anymore.

  14. towski says:

    In order for there to be a moral to the story, doesn’t there need to be a story, rather than a series of not particularly clever asides?

  15. Bethany says:

    Ugh. Epic return FAIL. Why’d I come back?

  16. towski says:

    Inquiring minds are dying to know who Marge is, and who all the duplicate Marge and Bethany’s have been.