Remember this? We’re doing it again. Jump.
Looks like? Five guys whose sole source of income is working as Toni & Guy hair models. Or five guys who show up to a Killers gig early, buy t-shirts, and immediately put them on over their button-up shirts. Which, if you think about it, are probably the same five guys.
Sounds like? The reason why MySpace was invented, unfortunately. In other words: the Killers if — instead of misguidedly thinking they were on the U2, Biggest Band in the World career path — they merely wanted to “break new markets in the Southwest, and continue winning over new audiences, throughout the Southwestern U.S.” (Seriously.) In other other words: the soundtrack to every Real World/Road Rules Challenge in the past four years.
Career highlight so far? While known as The Momento, appeared as finalists on The Next Great American Band.
Other ways you could achieve an equivalent level of fame? Get a letter to the editor published in Entertainment Weekly, praising their latest Twilight cover. Sell something on Craigslist. Exist.
Band’s attempt to sell itself and its new album? From their MySpace site: “THE EARLY REPUBLIC’s self-titled, full-length, debut album features the anthemic, sing-a-long, hit single ‘Rescue Me,’ which, according to Dallas’ KVRK 89.7 ‘Power FM’, has already become the ‘most requested song’ in the history of their Monday night All Request Show, after just one day on the playlist.”
Things wrong with that sentence? I count at least two glaring errors: 1) If the band’s definition of “hit single” were any looser, Dooney Da Priest would write a song about it and Dwaine Caraway would go on Dr. Phil and scold them for it, and 2) pretty sure KVRK 89.7 ‘Power FM’ is fictional.
Sentence from their bio that makes me sad for about seven different reasons? “The natural follow up single will to be the beautifully somber lyrical soundscape titled ‘What Was I Thinking?’; which illicits thoughts of the Goo Goo Dolls when Johnny Rzeznik is at his love-struck, heartbroken best.”
Who comes off worse in that comparison: the Early Republic or the Goo Goo Dolls? Music.
Observer music editor Pete Freedman’s favorite member? Probably this guy: “bass player Dave Martinez played his instrument with all the fury of a mother goose protecting her roost…”
Was that called for? Not really.
Number of kittens in the sack they’re currently standing on? Three, and they’re all wearing Killers t-shirts and fixing their fauxhawks.
