Granted, I’ve had a few adult beverages. Granted, I may not represent the view of the average fan. But I would like to take this opportunity to explain why the suspension of Sean Avery was not only absurd, but why it signals the end of my tenure as a Dallas Stars fan. (And, yes, I’m going to pretend Tim hasn’t posted about this, since he pretended I hadn’t already posted about this.)
Here’s the deal, Tom Hicks and Gary Bettman. Your league is awful. Most games, on most nights, are torture to watch. It is an incredibly boring sport that translates poorly to television. This comes from a lifelong sports fan. You don’t have to worry about Tim Rogers not watching your product. Tim is the worst sort of bandwagoner, someone who claims he’s a Notre Dame fan until the team does poorly, or someone who actually said during the first quarter of Game 3 of the Mavs-Heat finals, “I want the Mavs to lose this one, so it actually feels like a series.” Tim would only watch your sport if he thought it was cool or he could score points with Wick by posting about it.
That’s not me. I’m a sports fan. I read box scores. I’ve not gone to weddings because I feel like people were stupid enough to schedule them during big games. I know Big Daddy Drew, Chad Ford, and Don Cherry. I’m the guy you can’t ever afford to lose, okay?
But you’ve lost me. You know how? Because you’ve slowly sucked the fun out of your league. I can take that with football or basketball, because the sports are inherently interesting. Hockey is not. Hockey is fun in playoff situations, it’s fun when there’s a fight, it’s fun when there is something going on besides the boring back-and-forth of an early-December snorefest.
Which is one reason you signed Sean Avery. Because he’s an agitator. Because he’s self-absorbed and insane. Because he might talk about how the person he’s squaring off against that night is plowing celebrity ground he’s already tilled. And you know what? That. Is. AWESOME.
Make no mistake. It is fantastic that Avery took a shot at the guy who is dating the bim he used to date. I mean, it made me actually want to tune in to the game tonight. Now? I’m watching Grosse Pointe Blank for the 43rd time.
What’s that? You don’t care if I tune in? You don’t need my kinda fan? Fine. Then you don’t care if you ever make money off your investment again. Because the reason hockey is now the 9th-most popular American sport (after football, basketball, baseball, golf, bowling, archery, running around, and soccer) is that attitude: we need to protect the integrity of the game, blah blah blah. You can think that way until your league goes bankrupt in five years.
IJS, Mr. Hicks. When you look back and ask yourself, “Why did Dallas abandon my team?” look at your actions today. If you overreact to something as innocuous (and genuinely as funny) as this, then why should we back your product? Because you reaquired Darryl Sydor? Please. So out.
