Two Suspects in Subway Robberies Nabbed

Fort Worth police arrested two women believed to be the perpetrators of recent robberies at area Subway restaurants. Before they were caught, they were known as the “face paint robbers,” because their M.O. included masking their identity with white face paint. Now that they’re in custody, I suggest they go by “Jared’s Jailbirds.”

(Okay. That punchline didn’t connect, but at least I swung hard. I blame Jared. That guy ruins everything.)