Well, Allow Me to Retort: Moving “Discussions” From One Local Blog to Another

Somehow, a fairly benign item over on Unfair Park about Trey’s genius handiwork resulted in an ad hominem attack on the D Empire from one of their commenters. Let’s jump, if only because I’m bored and waiting for my son to finish watching SpongeBob.

“It is imperative that people residing in the state of Texas understand that arrogance and perfection go hand in hand at D Magazine.” Only true when it’s arms-and-back day on Eric’s workout plan.

“If they say it, it not only must be true, it has to be true.” That used to be the motto that appeared just below the “D” on every cover, during the first four years of our existence.

“They are an upscale version of Heaven’s Gate Monthly.” He’s sort of paraphrasing, but yes, indeed, this was our second, short-lived motto. Only lasted four regrettable issues.

“Soon they will reach even a higher state of perfection when they get to wallow in the [redacted] of George & Laura Bush.” Someone has been reading Tim’s dream journal again.

“To the uninformed, they may look like a company of bimbo/himbos who are sucking ketchup from a plastic container at McDonalds…” Another statement that only really applies to Eric. This is usually after cardio day.

“…you can rest assured they know what is best for all.” Anyone who has seen Tim run a fast break at the Premier Club knows this to be patently untrue.

“Only an [redacted, I guess] would every [sic] challenge them.” Thank you for your courage.

“Former cheerleaders and sissy hets know what is best.” Third motto, used from 1996-99.


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16 responses to “Well, Allow Me to Retort: Moving “Discussions” From One Local Blog to Another”

  1. Harvey Lacey says:

    Hades hath no fury like that of a wannabe scorned……

  2. Eric Celeste says:

    [standing, clapping, doing super sets of decline push-ups and walking lunges]

  3. Josh Pearson says:

    Zac, have I told you lately that you’re my favorite? Because you are.

  4. 1 Bonus Point says:

    … for quoting Jules

  5. Seriously, Zac? Because everyone knows “Former cheerleaders and sissy hets know what is best” is the current Observer motto — has been since 1991. But Eric will tell you that Peter Elkind tried to change it, once he was called out on wearing his pants sideways.

  6. Daniel says:

    Anybody who uses the slang “het” has forfeited his right to call another man a sissy.

  7. Bethany says:

    I refuse to take any insult seriously if it’s a jangled mess of poor grammar and misspelled words.

  8. another amanda says:

    Kill me now, I agree with Daniel. Do it, Bethany…put me out of my misery.

  9. Bethany says:

    You might want me to wait until after I finish my morning dose of caffeine, or the bullet will just maim you, not kill.

  10. Adamundo says:

    Happy Friday morning! This has been fun!

  11. j.d.w... says:

    Boy, Billy Barnacle HATES D Magazine the WORST…

  12. JB says:

    I wish D would just go ahead and publish Billy Barnacles’ Manifesto and get it over with. That being said, I really hope nobody there signs for a UPS package from “BB.”

  13. Ric Celeste says:

    (kneeling, slurping, nip tweaking, grasping
    begging,moaning,obeying Tim, rinse and repeat)

  14. “(kneeling, slurping, nip tweaking, grasping
    begging,moaning,obeying Tim, rinse and repeat)”

    OMG. You, too? I have that dream like, three times a week now.