1. The Dallas Morning News reveals that months before a computer crash destroyed important Attorney General files, state agencies had been complaining about IBM, which is the company contracted to back up these sorts of critical records and files. Uh, guys, this is why you buy Macs. Ever heard of iDisk? Look into it.
2. Patrons of the swinger’s club known as The Cherry Pit took the Fifth on the stand yesterday, for fear of incriminating themselves. This is not to be confused with refusing to go five-hole [hockey term], for fear of infecting themselves. Hi-yo! I’m talkin’ ’bout l’amour! As in “to swing,” baby!
3. UNT now has two albino squirrels on campus. That is, until Tim sees one. Hey, Tim, want to share your story with the group? Squirrel killer?