Casting the DISD Movie

When faced with bad news–or any news, really–I make jokes. I can’t help it. It’s my self-defense mechanism. So instead of dwelling on the situation at DISD (and, to be sure, I do take it very seriously), I’ve decided to turn it into a thus-far unscripted movie. (I’m seeing it as Crash meets Stand and Deliver meets Twelve Angry Men.) Your cast is after the jump. Not a joke, I guess. But not exactly hard-hitting either. Certainly not essential. If nothing else, to take everyone’s mind off it for a moment.

Superintendent Michael Hinojosa: Gotta be Edward James Olmos, right? Dark horse: Danny Trejo.

School Board President Jack Lowe: Hall of Fame “That Guy” James Rebhorn. No question.

Board Members

Carla Ranger: Probably the Tony-Award-winning Mary Alice. (You may also know her as The Oracle in the second and third Matrix movies.) Or Phylicia Rashad.

Ron Price: He’s a little young, but I’m going with Anthony Anderson. Maybe he can inject a bit of needed comic relief.

Jerome Garza: Another first-ballot “That Guy” Hall-of-Famer: Bruce McGill. Or, how about Tommy Chong, in a career-redefining role?

Edwin Flores: First thought: the underrated James Remar. Something doesn’t quite feel right, but let’s just go ahead and move on. In fact, I’m going to skip the rest of the board. That’s enough for Hollywood.

Other Players’s Allen Gwinn: Had trouble with this one, since I couldn’t shake Ricky Gervais. For now, I go with Dylan Baker.

Teacher Alyssa Lucas: Composite character, and probably the real star of the picture. Let’s say Angela Bassett.

Maintenance man Paul “Slug” Frazier: Another composite character. Throw your “Roc” signs up: it’s Charles S. Dutton.

Mr. X: Donald Sutherland, essentially reprising his JFK role.

That’s all I got.


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5 responses to “Casting the DISD Movie”

  1. BigMouthMedia says:

    Don Cheadle as Lew Blackburn

    Meryl Streep as Nancy Bingham, and in a flashback role..

    America Ferrara as Yvonne Gonzalez. I’m thinking Oscar…

  2. Michael123 says:

    Carla Ranger is the lone ranger when it comes to common sense at the DISD. Edwin Flores needs to come clean and let the public know if his children have been removed from DISD schools and are now attending private schools in Mexico. In fact, it now appears Edwin is playing the lead role of lapdog on behalf of his other trustees minus Carla Ranger pushing for what will surely be known as the “Jack Lowe Clause” for the proposed DISD board ethics policy. What Edwin should be doing is pushing for Dr. Hinojosa’s departure from the DISD not only for the latest $84 million financial shortfall at the DISD but also for the abusive and targeted way Dr. Hinojosa appears to be using the Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR) as is now being laid out by Channel 8 news reporter Brett Shipp.

  3. John says:

    “When faced with bad news—or any news, really—I make jokes. ”

    Dude, your jokes aren’t funny.

  4. iTeach says:

    I actually think this is pretty darned funny, and quite accurate! I think Anne Heche should play union rep Amy Bolender. It would be a small but pivotal role for Heche.

  5. Zac Crain says:

    @John: Noted. Already:

    “Your cast is after the jump. Not a joke, I guess.”

    But point taken.