When he got a column in Quick, something happened to him. I’m not saying he got un-funny. But certainly less funny. I don’t know whether that was because his editors made him tone it down or he started editing himself. No matter.
Read his latest blog post. I’m not ashamed to admit that I laughed so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. [standing, clapping, blotting with a tissue]
Funny stuff indeed!
Yeah, I don’t think the DMN is fond of the “F” word… well, probably only in staff meetings.
I had the same reaction. Excellent.
Having been brought up in the convent, so to speak, I don’t know what half of his swap suggestions mean. What does “reach-around” and “The Reverse Chicken Dinner” mean? It’s time for me to grow up and accept an adult position in this blogging world. Please enlighten me. I want to lose my innocence–sort of.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read about a local story since Brad Bailey was freelancing for this magazine and others. I wet my pants. Thanks, Tim.
Gadfly: You can learn more terms than you ever knew existed at http://www.urbandictionary.com
Hey, I’ve been using the urban dictionary for quite some time. But I didn’t know that “those” kinds of things were defined in it. OK guys, I’m going to do some research. See y’all later.
I literally cannot breathe. Who knew sex could be so much fun?
Is it bad that I knew what every term he mentioned was?
@Suzy: That’s what she said
Hmmmm. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
I don’t know who I’m more proud of as a citizen of Dallas. Alibaster or the fine members of our Police Force. Either way, well done, Dallas!
I wish my brain worked like his.
I just put up a post on Craig’s List looking for someone who needs a one month DART pass. Is that wrong?
I love a good reach-around
Unreachable behind the content warning. The funny will have to remain the pleasure of a relative few. Alibaster must prefer it that way, discriminating consumer of audience that he is.
You know we’re in a stagflationary spiral when it’s harder and harder (so to speak) to get laid but cheap sex is too expensive.
Will someone see if Nancy Nichols wants to go on a cruise with me?
I take issue with Alibaster’s liberal misconstruction of uniformly accepted terminology, however. Everyone knows that it’s a “reverse TURKEY dinner.”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=turkey%20dinner
So I guess under his system, carpooling to The Cherry Pit would not only be completely acceptable but also in keeping with the spirit of the evening?
Ohhhhh….my eyes! They hurt bad.
@ The Other Marty Cortland
I had no idea that humans could be so unbelievably disgusting. Thanks for enlightening me. I must now go take a shower.
What kind of shower Josh?
And tell us slowly.
Wait…do we want to know what Tim was dabbing with a tissue?
Like Josh, I had never heard of that. I just wish they would have substituted the name of a food I don’t like…e.g., reverse vegetarian Thai dinner or something.
I’m not so sure I’ll be able to enjoy Thanksgiving as much now.
The Reverse Lima Bean Dinner.
Beets. Blood-red beets. Gag-awful beets.
I am now in favor of comment editing.
I find the day-to-day comments of most FBvians more entertaining that Alibaster. Maybe it’s his accent.
Tim:
You think Alibaster is so funny, and yet you edited out “yell into rectum” from my last column — even though the context clearly required it. I wonder how funny Alibaster would be if he had someone running amok with the red pen over his stuff. Not funny, that’s what.
Now this gives a whole new meaning to “Winner, winner, chicken dinner!”
i’ve always been partial to the Strawberry Shortcake myself
I remember AKA first blogs. They were funny. But he ran out material. Then the posts morphed into rambling obscurities. They were flat-out-flatlined when Quick became the publisher/editor. Now’s he’s solo again and the first one has some palatable stuff inspired by urbandictionary.com, and his friend is plugging him on the blog.
I’ll be a fan again when AKA is consistent and smart with the vulgarities.
Good luck. I mean it.
I take the day off from blogging and this is what I missed?
Leave it to Fake Cortland to share insight into his sexual fantasies. (@@)
Good Gawd Y’all!!