“Stephany” From Plano West Takes On Princeton, The World

A Gawker-reading FrontBurnervian passed along this item that I somehow missed: A Plano West Senior High grad (see Update below), soon-to-be Princeton Tiger, named “Stephany Her RoyalHighness” gave some life advice to her future classmates on a Facebook discussion board. IvyGate found it, and then Gawker picked it up, and now I pass it along to you. Why the passalong? Because it includes such inspiring morsels as these:

Try everything once: Pilates, squash, open mic night, tantric sex. What do you have to lose? When you risk everything, you have anything to gain.
If someone says you can’t. Don’t answer. Walk away and prove them wrong.

You trip up and fall? Don’t lick your wounds–display them. It means you’re a competitor. You’re bleeding? You better hope you’re not anywhere close to carpet because there’s a lot more cuts where that came from. This is life– you fall down seven times, you get up eight.

This is the death of dynasty. The authorities may make the rules, they may think they have control, but we cannot forget we are Princeton. We are her blood and her bile. And we are the generation they have never seen before.

There’s also something in there about being Hitler the Fourth and Napolean the Fifth. Not sure how that works out. Anyway, good luck Stephany. And good luck, Stephany’s roommate.

Update: As commenter Malabar Jettison noted, Stephany ain’t from Plano West. Here’s the People Newspaper story about Stephany Xu of John Paul II in West Plano, and here’s Gawker’s tipster-fed update.


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29 responses to ““Stephany” From Plano West Takes On Princeton, The World”

  1. the cynic says:

    good luck to roomy getting any sleep with all that tantric sex

  2. Justin says:

    Ooh look, it’s the Dwayne Wade of Princeton.

  3. Anne Y.F. says:

    As much as I love Facebook, I’m so glad that it wasn’t around when I was in college in the late 80
    s/early 90’s.

    Self-censoring is not one of my strong points, and I would have embarrassed myself many times over and in perpetuity, thanks to Google’s cache.

    I cringe for this poor girl because this will follow her for a very, very long time. She just has NO idea.

  4. Sway says:

    She sounds like one of the EMO kids they are always talking about, that I will never understand.

    What is with kids today?

  5. Daniel says:

    I think she’s what the kids call “twee,” but of course I can’t be sure. Who knows, maybe she even has “skillz,” as the kids would say.

    The kids from 1998, that is.

    I shall wear my trousers rolled.

  6. amandacobra says:

    I hope there was at least an LYLAS or “Have a KAS” at the end of that.

    You know like “We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty today. Holla back! TTYL!” – Benito Mussolini.

  7. James says:

    I see the Plano kids are still into drugs…

  8. Tom says:

    I’ve heard and read a lot about the “I want it all” attitudes of the millenials, but this takes it to a whole ‘nother level.

    Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

  9. James says:

    Good point about the “millennial’s” Her mom probably wrote that.

  10. Like, that is so deep, man – much better than all the bad teenage goth poetry I used to write. Thank God I discovered drugs just in time, burned all those notebooks full of the evidence of my self-absorption and pulled my head out of my a**. Jeebuz. It’s not hard to see why the Mexican and Russian teens have such a grand time beating up on the Emo kids. I like totally get it now.

  11. monkey god says:

    Sounds like a high school student going into college. Most of them are full of sh*t.

  12. Bethany says:

    That’ll last until she steps foot on campus.

  13. Darren says:

    Reading this prose reminds me to make sure my passport is always current, so I can flee the country when she takes over.

  14. Bethany says:

    Seriously, though. Someone’s watched a Gilmore Girls marathon and channeled her inner Paris Geller.

  15. Princeton University says:

    Dear Stephany: There appears to have been a mixup in our admissions department. Please call to discuss.

  16. Wait, this is Princeton we’re talking about, right? The University. Lordy, lordy.

  17. “Princeton University” beat me to it.

  18. Grumpy Demo says:

    OK kids, remember:

    If you drink, DON’T TYPE!

  19. LOC says:

    Maybe it would have helped her along the way to get to turn in a few assignments after the deadline.

  20. jrp says:

    well, maybe suburban school districts do actually educate a child well enough for them to get into an Ivy League school

    but, Trey, this is the kind of delusional mindset that I believe festers in your beloved suburbia

    maybe living in Jersey for a while will shock her into reality with the rest of us

  21. Donner says:

    I love eating the young. They are always the most tender.

  22. skeptic says:

    Killing the loneliness is tough when you graduate with 1,300 other seniors at Plano West.

  23. Trey Garrison says:

    Oh for heaven’s sake. She’s 18. Cut her some slack. If you’re not full of piss and vinegar at that age you’ll be dead inside by the time you’re 30.

    Lord knows I don’t want my college age ramblings to resurface. Thank god that was back before the tubes were invented.

  24. LakeWWWooder says:

    How about your current ramblings?

  25. James says:

    I hear ya Trey, but for someone to be that, “Smart”…It’s just funny. The whole, “Burn B- Burn” has had my laughing all day. I’m going to use that in a sentence as many time has I can this weekend.

  26. jrp says:

    speaking of burning, Inwood’s showing Lebowski at midnight tonight (also Pineapple Express and The Wackness earlier in the evening in what i guess completes an all-smoke-’em-if-you-got-’em trifecta)

    i hope to be there imbibing and abiding

  27. Trey Garrison says:

    LakeWWWooder, unfortunately, my current ramblings can’t be erased.

    So both of us have to learn to live with them.

  28. amandacobra says:

    Man, it was funny to kind of laugh at how emo and serious that girl got but Moe needs to cut out the witch-hunt on a teenage girl who has not actually done anything to hurt anyone. Unless she wants people bringing up this ugly incident again…

    <A HREF=”http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2008/07/08/jezebels/index.html”Jezebels without a cause