Say Hello To My Not-So-Little Friend

The drink that can get you into the HOV lane.I call him Gulpy. The point is, before you go to your local Dallas-based 7-Eleven and get the Double Big Gulp for only 20 cents more, think about your car’s limitations. If it’s like mine (as I found out), you have to resort to odd measures in order to drive without dumping sweet tea all over the place. If anybody out there has any stories about enormously inappropriate items they’ve hauled in their cars, Vespas, etc., please share. Other inappropriate items I’ve hauled in my Civic LX: 12 cinder blocks; four, 12-foot-long two-by-fours; countless bags of Quickrete; and a 16-foot-long canoe. On the up side, at least Gulpy makes me feel less guilt in the HOV lane.


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20 responses to “Say Hello To My Not-So-Little Friend”

  1. allison says:

    I keep a folding patio table in the back of my trunk at all times. You never know when you’ll need one.

  2. MIssing Dots says:

    do fat chicks count?

  3. Dave Moore says:

    Only fat clowns count. And from what I hear, they stack like cordwood.

  4. amandacobra says:

    On days where I am feeling sluggish and know that I am going to need constant diet soda hydration, I Double Gulp suicide it on the way to work. Half Diet Dr. Pepper, Half Diet Coke, splash of real Dr. Pepper. Then it sits on my desk like a refreshment column all day.

  5. John M says:

    This is my cupholder looks like, I.E. the most useless one ever made. It won’t accommodate any cup through any sort of turn without spilling it all over me.

  6. Sway says:

    The cup holders in the Xterra hold a Double Gulp perfectly thanks to removable liners in the holder. Also, everyday items in my Xterra are: a complete setup for comfort for my Dachshund including bed, drink bowl(empty of course), and toys, a change of clothes, including the bathing suit and beach towl, and I don’t go anywhere without my empty ice chest…cause you never know when you’re going to need to ice something down.

  7. TG says:

    a nice alternative might be to carry your own recyclable cup, no more of those crappy cups in the landfill

  8. Towski says:

    In 1991, I drove from Virginia to Oklahoma with a 14 foot Sunfish sailboat tied to the roof of my Dodge Colt hatchback.

  9. Towski says:

    PS: I feel better for having admitted that.

  10. Meredith says:

    Why would anyone want to drink that much of anything? That Big Gulp size is ridiculous.

  11. Bethany says:

    You have obviously not been sufficiently sleep deprived enough to require a bucket of caffeine.

  12. IttyBittyWusy says:

    Bethany, it’s easier to just chew some coffee grounds. You get much more work done because you don’t have to pee as much.

    If you don’t like the crunch, you can just dip’em like Skoal.

  13. Bill says:

    I know of a certain local Preston Hollow billionaire that is absolutely addicted to 7-11 Big Bite chili hot dogs. I pop into the local 7-11 2-3 noons a week and often see him in there loading down hot dogs at the fixin’s bar.

    They are quite tasty actually.

    Ron(Tater Salad)White, from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour thing on Comedy Central often does a story in his standup about selling storm windows door-to-door in Highland Park during the 80’s and eating Big Bites and drinking SBG’s(Super Big Gulps). Pretty funny story.

  14. Don in Austin says:

    I hauled 3/4 cord of mesquite firewood in a Ford Explorer.

  15. Tim Rogers says:

    I hauled the mattress, frame, and support slats for a single-size bed, plus various other impulse purchases from Ikea, plus my wife and daughter from Frisco to Dallas in my — wait for it — Prius.

  16. Dave Moore says:

    Bill: I, too, have partaken of the Big Bite, which is actually just an excuse to gorge on the sauerkraut, cheeze, pico de gallo and other fixins located nearby. I think it’s best to go to busy 7-Elevens at lunchtime, so as not to get the Bad Bite (a dog that’s loitered on the grill a bit too long).

  17. jrp says:

    i’ve hauled some enormously inappropriate quantities of, um, stuff, in my old ’83 dookie brown Monte Carlo back and forth across the Keystone State numerous times during college

    and promise to never do it again

  18. Wes Mantooth says:

    A Prius at IKEA. How precious.

  19. Gbzz says:

    Well, hello, fast-track to diabetes!

  20. Squeeky the Lab Rat says:

    Hey GBzz,

    They make Diet Coke now as well.