Leading Off (8/4/08)

1. Dallas police nabbed a 14-year-old drug smuggler at the Tornado bus station in north Oak Cliff. She was carrying three suitcases loaded with 45 pounds of marijuana back with her from Laredo. Her mom thought she was at a sleepover. She’s definitely going to a sleepover now.

2. It was a record 107 degrees yesterday. In the sort of counterintuitive move that proves my genius, yesterday I decided to haul about a dozen wheelbarrows worth of soil from the backyard to the front. On Saturday, which was also hot as [pick your curse word], I went to Elliot’s, bought a bow saw, and spent a couple of hours cutting up the two full-tree-size branches that fell from our giant oak into our neighbor’s yard. Next weekend, I plan to body surf in molten hot lava.

3. And remember, our own Stacey Yervasi will be on Good Day Dallas this morning, talking about Best of Big D. Programming note: you may want to turn your volume up a skosh. And if you missed it, I’m sure there will be a bit of discussion about it later.

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Comments

26 responses to “Leading Off (8/4/08)”

  1. dork says:

    Hell Zac, this afternoon……come on over and mow my dead grass. I wasnt planning on mowing till October but if you want to….
    Ill give you a tshirt!!

  2. Zac Crain says:

    I’d have to see the t-shirt first, of course, but your offer intrigues me.

  3. amanda says:

    #1, It’s important for kids to work during the summer, it develops a sense of purpose.

    #2 I lost 2 giant cedar elm branches. Why don’t you drop by around 3, chainsaw in the garage, I’ll get you a gatorage. I’ll see that t-shirt and raise you a keychain.

    #3 SLY is the BOMB. No need to adjust your set, she’s really that cute in person.

  4. Harvey Lacey says:

    Let’s see, Saturday, oh, yeah, that was when I was using my trusty Stihl to de-limb thirty some cedars I’d dragged out to the road from the woods. Delimbing isn’t tough. Stacking all those little limbs in neat piles for future mulching will make a man out of you or at least inspire you to want you to find one.

    Yesterday I was welding up a hitch on a bud’s truck. We have the perfect relationship, bud and me. He’s the only person that consistantly laughs at my jokes. I’m the only one that can fix all the oops he does to his truck, puts a whole new definition on the professional in professsional truck driver.

    Yes I was doing the welding in the shade. And yes, the thermometer hanging on the wall in shade with me read 109 about four thirty in the afternoon.

    Which brings up a favorite topic of mine, the women who complain about how difficult life is with a real man in it. If they think that’s tough they ought to climb into a man amongst men’s boots just for one day. They would stop whining and start applauding.

  5. Zac Crain says:

    Thanks for scoreboarding me, Harvey. I’ll have to up the ante this weekend, maybe till up the soil for my wife’s new garden and dig the post holes out back for the other new garden. If there’s enough time, rebuild the shed. Just spitballing ideas.

  6. Harvey Lacey says:

    Zac, I think you’re a little confused. We, real men, don’t do stuff around the house. You can ask my wife. We do stuff at other people’s houses.

    BTW, my wife pulled seventy plus horn worms out of her garden by herself the other day. But it was my idea for her not to kill them by ripping their heads off like she does with grasshoppers.

    Nah, we gave the live big old green monsters the chicken lady. We buy our brown eggs from the chicken lady. Amazing, absolutely amazing, give big old green tomato worms to a brown (red) chicken and she’ll give you orangier yoked eggs.

    Now if the image of your wife pulling the head off of a grasshopper in her garden gives you pause. It might be your fault. Too much working at your house instead of other’s houses.

  7. Emilio Velasquez, Jr. says:

    Señor Zac, thank you for saying “a skosh” again!

    With the passing of Thurston and Lovey I had not heard that happy phrase until Señor Eric used it below. What a happy day it will now be for us all!

    Señor Zac, how much is a skosh?

    And where are our cabras?

    Emilio

  8. amanda says:

    Zac, I’ll help in your garden. I’ll probably bring an undocumented worker…

  9. Harvey Lacey says:

    Emilio, skosh is evidence of exposure to a lifer. Lifers use the term in polite company when lil doesn’t fit. When they’re with their own they have a term that’s a little more hairy.

    Hope this helps……

  10. Zac Crain says:

    I should point out, since she’ll do it for me, that my wife got up before me on Sunday and replanted her garden, lugged around a bunch of mulch, and did plenty of other sweat-inducing work outside.

  11. Daniel says:

    That’s nothing. On Saturday, jrp packed a 200-lb. trunk (would have weighed 300, but he prudently left out periods and commas), hoisted it upon his shouldder and stood broiling by the roadside with only his extended thumb for company. Said he’s goin’ to Nova Scotia, where their license plates say “No ignoramuses here.”

    (Should be ignorami, but why rain on his parade?)

  12. Adamundo says:

    Well put, Daniel.

  13. jrp says:

    Daniel, I love you man. And I’ll even use some CAPS and punctuation for ya.

    Actually went to Antigonish, Nova Scotia, a few years ago for a wedding in late July that was held in conjunction with this: http://www.antigonishhighlandgames.com/

    And it was freakin beautiful, mid ’60s to low ’70s all day and night, as it is there now: http://www.weather.com/outlook/travel/businesstraveler/tenday/CAXX0754?from=36hr_topnav_business

    Not to mention those Canadians like to party, boy. I stayed in a dorm at St. Francis Xavier University for the weekend because I’m cheap, ended up meeting a couple lovely co-eds that were taking summer classes and they had plenty of sticky-icky…so it turned into a great weekend of debauchery.

  14. jrp says:

    and for what it’s worth, ignorami isn’t a word, man, but i guess that was your point…and it hasn’t rained on me (or my parade) in weeks, if not months

    so, i had a bad day friday, gimme a break, man, it ain’t easy trying to constantly piss of 1.2 million Dallasities, but i’m trying

  15. amanda says:

    Jrp, don’t even get me started. I vented to Ms. Anderson earlier.

    Tracey Rowlett? Seriously? And, the youngest board memeber is like 95? Omg.

  16. Rawlins Hot House Tomatoes says:

    #3: Yervasi, who was terrific and effortless this morning, is such a talent…as cooling on camera as she is unwinding at Al’s across a table with a margarita or emailing edits professionally caught in professional three-ways. I think ‘D’ is a magnet for very talented and hip and easy-going modern female professionals. Exhibits A & B: Yervasi and photo-intoxicant Elizabeth Lavin. They deserve higher profiles and I am sure higher salaries.

  17. Daniel says:

    Just goofin’ on ya, jrp — all in good fun. Not like you weren’t asking for it!

  18. Gadfly says:

    #2: Maybe I can win this contest. Since I’ve never won anything before, let me recount my weekend (Sunday) labors. I dismantled 2 stone walls in preparation for today’s street curb, sidewalk and driveway demo that UP has been doing in phases. Then I staked back all the English Ivy in the parkway. After rehydrating, I mowed my backyard with my manual reel mower and then edged with hand shears. After rehydrating again, I hand watered the cottage shade garden and all container plants. Came inside–showered, started a load of laundry, fed the dogs, and then sat down for a lean cuisine at 10:00. Do I win?

  19. Danno says:

    #1 First I read about a 14 year smuggling pot on FB.
    Then I read about Slutty Chearleaders and Baggy Boys
    on UFP. Now I find this video about a young boy showing total disrespect for decency on the Nature Channel

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJfokYA4EjY

    Im telling you, the kids these days …..

  20. Zac Crain says:

    Gadfly: Congrats. You do win. You have your choice of prize: a hearty handshake, a jaunty “attaboy” (or “attagirl”), an annotated–by a reader–copy of the story I wrote about money manager Ed Butowsky, or a framed copy of my hiring announcement that appeared in the Dallas Business Journal.

  21. Gadfly says:

    Is that the best you can do? Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll pass.

  22. Zac Crain says:

    Oh well. Offer’s still on the table.

  23. Josh Pearson says:

    Can I have dibs on the jaunty “attaboy” since Gadfly doesn’t want it? Or can I at least start making eye contact with you when we pass in the hall?

  24. Spamboy says:

    Yesterday’s 107 degrees did a number on my air conditioner — I’m working from home today waiting for Captain HVAC to pay a visit.

  25. Zac Crain says:

    JP: You can have one, but not both. I can’t handle the social interaction strain that would cause on my fragile system.

  26. Josh Pearson says:

    I’ll take the jaunty “attaboy” since I’m used to the lack of social interaction by now. It doesn’t bother me so much anymore. However, having to call Tim “Mr. Head Guy in Charge Who Can Fire Me At The Drop of a Hat” every time I address him does bother me.