Jessica Simpson Likes Her Some Stampede Beer

[image deleted: explanation] You’ve heard about Stampede beer. Surely. It’s a local brew, the first approved by the feds to include vitamins. So, you know, it’s healthy for you (I keep telling myself). Well, comes news today (or tomorrow, actually) that none other than Jessica Simpson (aka the Cowboys’ succubus) has signed a deal with the beer to promote it via print and other media. She’s also now a significant shareholder in the company that owns the brew. Here’s a taste of the print ad campaign featuring J-Simp. Mmm. Tasty. (pictured: the temptress Herself and Stampede honcho Lawrence Schwartz)


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91 responses to “Jessica Simpson Likes Her Some Stampede Beer”

  1. SLR says:

    Here’s the weird thing: both Jessica and the old dude look fat. I mean, WTF? Vitamins . . . and lard?

  2. henry says:

    SLR really? cause i think she looks hot!

  3. Winston says:

    Are you kidding me? ANY dude that does rabbit ears over JSimp is okay by me. Besides, if he drinks THAT beer and that’s his gut…gimme some of that beer.

  4. adman says:

    hope someone told her they don’t pay their advertising bills.

  5. jrp says:

    kinda looks like one of these photos:

    when i finally meet Ms. Simpson and she agrees to take a pic with me, i know exactly where my non-beer holding hand will be and it certainly won’t be visible in the photo

  6. Disgruntled says:

    Advertising bills, much less their investors.

  7. SLR says:


    Don’t get me wrong. I much prefer the pleasantly plump chick to the anorexic sylph. No doubt I would be all over that chubby shiksa. (The blond is not so bad either.)

  8. Winston says:

    Last I read – I think they were a start up. Investors and bills get paid when they sell out to the sell outs.

  9. adman says:

    jrp, the “hot chicks with douchebags” link was priceless. If that’s not the same douchebag, then it’s at least his brother. Or the guy who leased him his BMW. (And at least two of the chicks in the picture are hotter than JSimp.)

  10. You'veGotToBeKiddingMe says:

    You guys are all nuts. I would give my left one to stand that close to Jessica. In the immortal words of Adam McGill, she’s PERFECT.

  11. May the Breast Man Win says:

    Douchebag, old, fat dude or not — it can’t be all that horrible to have that rack resting on one’s belly. (“If loving her is wrong, I don’t want to be thin.”)

  12. B&A says:

    Jessica is truly beautiful. Kudos to you, Mr. Schwartz! And best of luck to your beer.

  13. Bethany says:

    Pffffft … all beers are health food. Beer is made of grains, and grains are healthy, ergo, beer is health food.

  14. Winston says:

    Look, hate to hate on someone – so props. Dallas. JSimp. A guy trying to make it. Things could be worse. Like last Cowboys playoff win —1996. Now that’s some douchebag!

  15. David says:

    Health food yes. But the extra ham makes it more meaty.

  16. MushMouth says:

    A match made in Heaven… Stampede and Mrs. Ed!

  17. Ashley says:

    he doesn’t look old or fat. since all of the posters seem to be men (except bethany) i think you guys are jealous. he’s pretty cute.

  18. monkey god says:

    Some people will do anything to stay famous. Marry a member of a boy band, do a reality show, date a Cowboy QB, switch over to country music, sale vitamin beer. Good God what’s next Dukes of Hazzard II ?

  19. Puddin'Tane says:

    Yes, Monkey, and don’t forget ProActive….

  20. Jojo says:

    So my prayers that she would just quietly go back to nashville or LA or anywhere better than plastic dallas have gone unanswered.

  21. Seth says:

    My guess? “Winston” = Lawrence Schwartz

  22. Holy Ghost of Dr. Criswell says:

    Jess and her sis are such nice Baptist girls.

  23. Father and Son says:

    And their Dad is such a great Pastor.

  24. jrp says:

    thanks, adman, that’s a fantastic site and i happened to see that pic a while back and recalled the flashing of the peace sign by the off hand, which is a d-bag staple, and then thought the dudes looked a little similar

    don’t really mean to hate on the dude…kudos to him for brewing his own and trying to get it in stores and all

    just that i am jealous, as i’d love to give Jessy a big ole hug and ask her to, um, sponsor my product. i’d even pay her

  25. fruitdog says:

    Stampede is about as tasteless as michelob ultra.

  26. Don in Austin says:

    Bethany rocks! Beer for strength. Its not a beer gut, its a liquid grain storage facility.

  27. monkey god says:

    I hope Romo isn’t a significant shareholder. I’m tired of hearing about rich athletes that loose all their money on bad investments.

  28. Bethany says:

    Seriously though, what’s next? Vitamin crack? Vitamin meth?

  29. Father and Son says:

    How about Vitamin Cigarettes and Vitamin Condoms?

  30. monkey god says:

    How about vitamin vitamins.

  31. henry says:

    SLR, as my grandfather used to say, “I like a little meat on my chicken.”

  32. diahh says:

    There needs to be a site dedicated to the correct uses of the words “lose” and “loose”. People on the intertubes don’t seem to know the difference.

    And right after i type that, i find this.

  33. Case says:

    Looked forward to reading this and seeing the great news!

    Now I’m just bummed that Dallas “30k millionaires” and haters get such a kick out of junior high badgering. It’s no wonder why Dallas gets a bad rap. We can’t even be happy for local Dallas businesses that sink HUGE celebs. Love her or hate her – She’s still Top 20 most recognized celebs in the world.

    This web page REEKS of jealousy! Kudos for a Dallas guy and a Dallas girl teaming up to represent the BIG D in something we all love – Beer, success and notoriety.

    I’ll even cheers to that one!

  34. jane k says:

    she looks awesome. he’s hot. good point case! the scared dogs always have the meanest bark!

  35. Seth says:

    “Case” = “jane k” = Lawrence Schwartz

  36. Bethany says:

    Shouldn’t you be spelling haters “haterz?”

  37. 4forsure says:

    Good job Stampede Light. You clearly got the girl everyone else wants, or wants to be like. That’s why they write such jealous and cruel remarks. And for those who think Jessica is fat….you’ve been listening too much to your boyfriend tell you how much an inch is. You wish!

  38. 4forsure says:

    Hey Monkey God….don’t you mean “sell”, not sale beer? Hmmm, those who throw stones….

  39. jane k says:

    Seth = I want my mommy to help grow up and be rich, famous…and nice

  40. here2there says:

    No I think Seth = that nerd from my senior class that everyone made fun of for wearing that New Kids on The BLock t-shirt and picking his nose. He was totally still wearing that shirt when he wrote that mean stuff. He’s a green one that Seth.

  41. Kenny says:

    I tried this at the store this weekend. Wife and I picked up a case and with no hangover the next day, I don’t mind anyone that wants to support that!

  42. Dittopup says:

    Man forget t.v. for comedy – this is where it’s at. You got owned Seth! Looks like you do need your mama!! And all you haters need to check out what Jessica does for charity. She has funded many surgeries for kids with cleft lip/palates so they can have Smiles. Yep, you are JEALOUS of Jessica and the beer folks – pity! P.S. Dittopup = I’m my own dog!

  43. carlo says:

    vitamin beer? where can i get some?

  44. whynotme? says:

    Just saw the promos on ENews & The Daily 10 -amazing that Hollywood is kinder to Jessica Simpson than her own home town is. I guess you would rather have Amy Whinehouse promote DFW products and have Tony Romo date Paula Abdul. ewww what is wrong with Dallas that we can’t be happy for anyone (rich, pretty, sexy and famous)?

  45. skeptic says:

    Viagra beer is next.

  46. carlo says:

    skeptic – something you need?

  47. Seth says:

    Who’s falling for this shiite? Lawrence Schwartz is clearly pulling a John Mackey (

    Again, “Winston” = “Ashley” = “Case” = “4forsure” = Lawrence Schwartz. (Probably you too Dittopup.)

  48. B&A says:

    Let’s all reduce the rhetoric here. Remember, we’re rooting for the home team: Jessica, Stampede, Lawrence Schwartz, Dallas. Let’s hope that Mr. Schwartz is the next Mark Cuban.

  49. monkey god says:

    Your correct but I should have said not sell vitamin beer. I wonder how much money she’s going to loose on this deal. What are you, her stalker or her dad?

  50. Lawrence says:

    Seth = compliments. Thanks! I’m having fun watching you be a clairvoyant.

    However, you are wrong. Wanna dog on me, great. Why don’t you come from behind your cloak and call me directly. I can be reached at 214-295-3256.


  51. A.Stewert says:

    He use to come into several lounges in Dallas and grease the bartenders to push his stuff…bleech

  52. A.Stewert says:

    This stuff is buy none get four free

  53. 4forsure says:

    Seth you are so predictable. You just helped me win fifty bucks too! I bet someone I could extract another = sign from you. And what is shite? Were you that upset to be called out and owned? Hey – keep em coming – I got $100. riding on the next one! I don’t know these guys whose parade you are peeing on – I just like ruffling your hairless head!

  54. 4forsure says:

    monkey god, do you mean lose, not loose? What are you, one of the “mean girls” she went to school with? Go back and take spelling again. And change your name to monkey devil – it fits you better. I’m neither stalker or dad….just happy to see a Dallas girl make it. Too bad Dallas eats their young though.

  55. dittopup says:

    This is a riot. I especially love the church bashers that keep reinforcing why Christians are called hypocrites. And monkey god, how sweet of you to worry about Jessica losing money but I think she can handle it. What bothers you most..her being poor..or rich? Beer sure hasn’t hurt Cindy McCain any or don’t you keep up? woof:)

  56. B&A says:

    Dear Mr. Schwartz:

    What, “Seth” is supposed to be able to reach you during the half hour you’re actually at the office? If you really want him to be able to get a hold of you, you should have given him the phone number for the Highland Park Village Starbucks.

    (Just kidding! Don’t be so touchy.)

  57. monkey god says:

    May be I should add more o’s to make my point(looooose!). Loose fits the so called christian just fine. She starts her carear singing christian music, now she’s using sex to sell beer. She’s a role model for every young girl in the US.
    My friend was right. Spell one word wrong in each comment you leave and people remember your comment, you did.
    It didn’t help Cindy McCain’s half sister. Cindy’s father left his other daughter $10,000. According to Cindy she doesn’t have a sister. What a nice family.

  58. BarBeamer says:

    Hey A.Stewart, don’t be knockin the palms getting greased and you know you took drinks from the hotties. I tend bar and that’s the way it’s played. I see all kinds of pimpin goin on from all the big boys that’s why I stay away from you corporate sharks.

  59. 4forsure says:

    monkey devil…you surely are one of the “mean girls” aren’t you? Drop the pretense that you care about Christian anything cause you reek hatred. There’s a lot of crossover music all over. And Beauty sells, period. If you spend any money at all in perfecting your outer image to hide that cold interior, don’t deny it. (Did your boyfriend dump you for Jessica in high school)?

  60. SelenaMartin says:

    My boyfriend and I tried the beer out last night and it was awesome!Love the quote on the bottle too! Hope this is the next Shiner Boch and beyond!

  61. monkey god says:

    Keep telling yourself that. When is the last time she did something that had quality behind it and dating famus people doesn’t count. The name monkey god has nothing to do with christianity, try hindu. I never saw Amy Grant sell beer or do a music video in a swimm suit but she had staying power.

  62. SMUlaw says:

    Ladies and Gents! Retract the fangs! Haha – hope ya’ll aren’t that mean to everyone you deal with! Anyways,Last night we went to Milo’s and they have Stampede Light all day, all night, every day for 2$! The bar tender said they have been selling out and we helped them empty the rest last night!!! Best part was no hangover! Picking up a case today for the weekend! Where can I get it? Jessica is on to something!

  63. SMUlaw says:

    Who’s Amy Grant?

  64. 4forsure says:

    You’re so right SMUlaw – these meanies got the focus off the real great news. And…the beer IS good. I’m off now to save Roseanne Barr from the hate blogs she’s getting for her endorsements. oh wait…she doesn’t have any. Well you get the point!

  65. ManagerMann says:

    We carry the beer at our store. Our clientele enjoys the samplings and product. Should be a best of Big D. Its been outselling Michelob for a couple of months now.

  66. monkey god says:

    No hangover! Are you drinkig beer or water?

  67. SMUlaw says:

    Um…beer (see aforementioned news title and references)

  68. monkey god says:

    What makes it different than other beers? Don’t say it has vitamins, all beer has vitamins. Don’t say it’s good for your because the government wouldn’t allow that on the beer’s label.

  69. stampedeBA says:

    I’m a BA for the beer and Stampede Light Plus has 256 percent more B-Vitamins than other beers.The guy that invented it also invented the idea of “light” beer. His name is Dr. Owades.I don’t think anyone would make the claim that it’s “good for you” so don’t know where you got that but it is a better choice. Just as Vitamin water, wheat bread over white bread, etc.



  70. monkey god says:

    I got that idea from a little magazine called Forbes.

  71. stampedeBA says:

    Yes,we were featured in Forbes and in FORTUNE. We’ve also been featured in Maxim, Muscle and Fitness, the Dallas Morning News TASTE feature (to name a few) and my favorite…D MAGAZINE!

    As I’m sure you’re aware, you can’t believe everything you read Monkey Boy! If you need straight-to-the-source info about the beer, head to the website (



  72. monkey god says:

    Yes, and that site would be objective. If you new the info was out there then why did you ask where I got it. You might go to the newest blog posting on this site. Looks like your PR work is needed there since it’s on the front page

  73. carlo says:

    Not as bad as you need a dictionary

  74. 4forsure says:

    Hey monkey god, glad you are picking on someone else but I’m afraid Carlo is right – you’re busted a 3rd time for spelling! It’s spelled knew, not “new”. Just curious, does Hindu teach you to pray for the failure of a business? You sure do seem to have a lot of animosity brewing here.

  75. monkey god says:

    You should’ve busted me on all comments for one spelling error. I’ve already explained the bit, it works.

  76. 4forsure says:

    Well monkey dog I would also remember you if you came out of the restroom with toilet paper stuck in your pants but that doesn’t mean it would be good. But keep telling yourself it’s working, we’ll play along because you clearly are having a bad day being busted and bounced all over the place. In summary, you got told.

  77. monkey god says:

    I don’t see you coming to the side of Simpson on the latest 2 blog post on this site. Looks like some girl thought her picture made her look fat and had it pulled. I have no real issue with Simpson or the beer. I do enjoy arguing, it’s a illness I have and my wife doesn’t like to argue. Then again you thought I was a chick.

  78. dittopup says:

    uh, monkey god, devil, chick, dude, playground bully, bad speller, democrat, whatever….we’re tired of you. But now we know why you spend so much time here. (And anyone calling Jessica fat is reaching). Your poor wife. You at least helped Stampede’s sales today – just bought some and am toasting you now. mmmm mmmmm good!

  79. monkey god says:

    Never said she was fat. Guess your to buzy getting drunk to read. There must be some reason Simpson’s lawyers had the photo pulled.

  80. dittopup says:

    Monkey doo, read your comment “some girl thought her picture made her look fat”. That’s what I was addressing so again you’re off base but you think everything centers around you. Looks like you need to find someone else to feed your self referenced “illness” cause I’m outta here.

  81. TomA says:

    LOL- If all of these people despise Jessica and the beer guy so much how come you’ve been obsessed about blogging about it for the past two days – 70+ blog comments sure means someone cares! 🙂

  82. He Kexin says:

    I guess you haven’t read the lastest blog post on this site. Hope her beer deal doesn’t end up like her blue jean deal. I’m waiting for the first picture of her drinking a Bud.

  83. Jenn says:

    Why? Why would you be waiting for a picture like that? Do you want to see her shave her head like Britney too? Talk about showing pleasure in beating someone up – geez, lots of enemies in this town. They’re beating on Michael Phelps for signing with Corn Flakes over Wheaties too so I guess no one is immune from the meanies!

  84. jules says:

    Hey Jenn- be refreshed! I was getting a pedicure today and overheard two chicks talking sweet about the whole Jessica deal. Granted they probably aren’t from here because they were being nice (and they were cute too!) but at least there’s hope for waking the Dallas dead. Since when did couth go out of style?

  85. JoeMama says:

    I saw the infamous poster today at the beer store – all of you who slammed the pic need glasses or counseling. She’s gorgeous! What were they suppose to do, sign Roseanne Barr? SMART indeed Stampede!!!

  86. He Kexin says:

    What did the beer company do, give you people 50 bucks and a script to read.

  87. JAX says:

    He Kexin, Guess if you ran a company, you would just sit there and twiddle your thumbs? This blog is so fun to see how some people have no business savvy. Even Viagra had to get their sales “up” with being remembered by using a well known face like Bob Dole. Say what you want, it worked.

  88. gonefishin says:

    If China and India keep growing commodity prices are going to keep rising. Small beer companies will be absorbed by larger ones or go out of business. These days hops and barley aren’t cheap.

  89. if a CAN can CAN says:

    Just saw J.Simp driving the Stampede Light mobile billboard (ie their truck)- what a JOKE!

  90. Sal says:

    Was served the beer tthe Hottest half today! Yum! Good stuff! love D Magazine!