1. A Farmers Branch attorney is in trouble for saying that guessing the number of Hispanic voters in the city is like estimating “the number of beans in jar.” He later apologized, saying that he didn’t know “beaner” was a derogatory term for Hispanics, noting that he should have memorized Chong’s improvised song from Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie (the one following Cheech’s smash “Mexican-Americans”) titled “Beaners.”
2. Crime around White Rock Lake fell 3 percent last year, but police note that car thefts would decrease if folks realized they shouldn’t leave their keys in the car just because they don’t want to carry them while they jog. Not making that up.
3. Irving-based Exxon Mobil Corp. posts the biggest annual and quarterly profits by a U.S. company, breaking the record it held. Insert your own sad, poor, plebian, insignificant, working-for-the-man-till-you-die joke here.