How to Avoid a Trip in the St. Patty’s Day Paddywagon

In news that will interest Tim, Dallas police announced this morning some changes they will be making to the annual Greenville St. Patrick’s Day parade post-parade street party. DPD Central Division will now be handling the event and will be dispatching more officers to the area to crack down on behavior that has led the Debbie Downer neighborhood associations to complain year after year–namely public intoxication (and the resulting destructive behavior), drunk driving, and illegal parking. Among the changes–which Pegasus News has kindly interpreted for us here–there will now be a motorcycle squad to assist with traffic control, a DWI squad, a sheriff’s office breathalyzer unit, etc. etc. Bottom line: Don’t drink and drive to the parade. Rent a wheelchair, and have Tim push you there.

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Comments

3 responses to “How to Avoid a Trip in the St. Patty’s Day Paddywagon”

  1. Sky Masterson says:

    That article wasn’t about the parade. It concerned the lower Greenville street party after the parade.

  2. Daniel says:

    I hear that this year, Avi Adelman will be dressed up as a shot girl, dispensing vulgarly named libations in test tubes right on his front lawn.

  3. What really amazes me about this post is how D Magazine does everything to avoid my website…

    Let’s see how this works:

    Frontburner posts a story about a storythe parade, which turns out to be about the after-parade party

    That story is on PegasusNews’ website

    The story on PegasusNews was actually BarkingDogs content, since BD and PegasusNews have a sharing agreement

    So why not post a link to directly to BarkingDogs???

    yeah go figure