Last night, I went to see my kid perform in his Christmas pageant. He’s finally made it to the age where he and his fellow classmates actually sing instead of 1) being terrified to even walk into the room, 2) getting completely distracted by the presence of their parents and 100 or so other people, or 3) crying uncontrollably. So, good times. Not good times? Many of the parents/grandparents attending said Christmas pageant. Here’s the deal: I know you want to see your kid staring at the floor while he and his friends whimper through “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” We all do. It’s adorable. Really. But unless you are an amateur chemist and have come up with a secret formula that turns your body (and clothes) completely invisible, or you’ve spent the past two years in your laboratory perfecting the X-ray camera and, in the spirit of the season, you’ve decided to loan it to me, I’m going to have a hard time making that happen. You want a good view? Show up early. Like I did. Manners, people. Manners.