Dr. Phil, What Do You Want For Christmas?

drphil.jpg“Now, listen, you don’t need a Mason jar to make a chipmunk dance. You don’t need a pound of ground round to win a duck calling contest. You don’t need a pair of hip waders to graduate from clown college. You don’t need a rocking chair to whittle a corn cob pipe. You don’t need a pair of stilts to drink a root beer. You don’t need a hug from a stranger to pull a quarter from behind my ear. You don’t need an hour glass to jump over a toadstool. You don’t need a sailor to teach a farmer phonics. You don’t need a hay bale to milk an ant. You don’t need a ’77 Camaro to flunk out of law school. You don’t … wait, what was the question? Oh. A mustache comb and a subscription to Vibe.”

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Comments

3 responses to “Dr. Phil, What Do You Want For Christmas?”

  1. Scott says:

    Zac’s the best thing to happen to this blog since Schutze pointed out Wick’s fiery spinning neckwear…

    Keep ’em coming mayor!

  2. dave little says:

    “You have to want to learn to be the person who is underneath the quilt and by that i mean that if you aren’t walking fast to the laundromat then you are running to meet a guy who sells water wings to man in the mirror. and a gift basket from Bed Bath and Beyond”

  3. Jack Jett says:

    Zac..

    Kathy Griffen tells a great story about how he came on to Jane Fonda as some benefit.

    Zac really captures the essence of Phil to the point I can almost smell his pervy breath.