1. Greatest Morning News headline ever? “Illegal massages at spas rub Dallas cops the wrong way.”
2. The SEC has filed a $428 million suit against two former North Texas businessmen who now live in Cancun. Lookin’ good Billy Ray! Feelin’ good, Louis!
3. Trophy Club mayor Nick Sanders is under fire for asking city employees to help him move. Personally, I think if you’re not quick enough to throw out, “Oh, sorry, Saturday? Yeah, flying to [insert city] to see [fill in relative],” then that’s your bad.