Because today researchers have assembled their research, after conducting over 2,000 interviews, as to why people have sex. There are 237 reasons, it turns out, and they include:
I wanted to feel closer to God.
I was drunk.
I wanted to get rid of a headache. [Ed. note: very interesting, that finding.]
I wanted to make my partner feel powerful.
I wanted to return a favor.
I wanted to hurt an enemy.
I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
Bravo, University of Texas. Bravo.