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Dispatch From a FBvian Awaiting the New Potter Book

By Paul Kix |

D Home’s Hannah Seddelmeyer was in line Friday night. For her actions, “I anticipate being mocked on some high schooler’s Facebook page.” Keep reading for the night that was in all its geeky glory.

I mistakenly assumed that I would be among the first in line when the book store opened Friday. Apparently the first person in line had been there since 4 in the morning. The second person got there at 7. My question is: At what point did that first person regret their decision? When I arrived at 9, the line stretched out the front doors of the store to the Tom Thumb. I was in group D, which meant that there were at the very least 150 people in front of me. Last week a helpful employee told me that they had more than 2,000 copies on reserve.

I arrived at Barnes & Noble apprehensively at 9 p.m., and I looked for other wizards. To paint a better picture, I am dressed as everyone’s favorite metamorphagus, Tonks.

– I accidentally poked Harry Potter No. 143 in the eye with my wand. I am going straight to hell.
– Events for the evening included wand making, house sorting, wizard cups, fortune telling, wizard trivia, and a costume contest. You haven’t lived until you’ve played wizard cups.
– Any time anyone mentions the Internet spoilers or The New York Times book review I start humming, loudly.
– Hermione No. 57 looked up at her mom and said, “Mom, I wanna go home and just watch a movie.” It was 9:30.
– At this point I would like to give a shout-out to Nearly-Headless Nick.
– Another Tonks keeps giving me dirty looks. I think she’s jealous because she got her costume all wrong.
– I’ve spotted a group of three wearing S.P.E.W. (The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare) shirts and chanting “Stop Elfish Slavery Now.” They had a drum…and socks.
– In the wizarding world, a drink at the Hog’s Head will cost you a cool two sickles. That amounts to about $1.18 U.S. Dollars, which means that I paid about six sickles for my frappachino. Hastings had butterbeer. IJS Starbucks.
– In an interesting coincidence, the sorting hat has its own version of the wizard ala the Wizard of Oz. No curtain here though–this guys is in a black tent and may or may not be communicating via a walkie-talkie.
– By 11 p.m. I have posed for five photos, one in a duel with some death eaters. I anticipate being mocked on some high schooler’s Facebook page.
– At the trivia counter, the guy asks me if I would like an easy or a hard question, I haughtily say that I need the extra-hard one. I got it wrong, and the next one, and then an easy one. I can never show my pink head here again.
– A guy walked up to me with a spiral notebook clutched to his chest, and in a flash turned it around as he approached and shouted “It’s the ending of the book!” It was a picture of a transformer.
– I turned the corner to find someone studying among stacks of books and papers, someone who wasn’t here for the party. Then Harry Potter #267 ran by.
– A young man, dressed cleverly as a muggle, rides up the escalator shouting, “The Dark Lord will rise again, and you will feel his wrath.” I’m a little scared.
– I catch myself strutting past a group of Quidditch players, evidently my apprehension has lifted.
– About 5 minutes before midnight an announcement is made over the loud speaker, “Barnes & Noble employees, we have a code Adam, we’re looking for a 7-year-old boy, in brown sandals, dressed as a house elf.”

And later, somewhere a member of S.P.E.W. beats what can only be described as a call to arms. At ten seconds till midnight, the lights go out and then back on, and everyone starts wailing. The countdown begins 10, 9, 8…I started giggling, trying to think of what we could possibly shout when we reach one, Happy Hallows? Happy Harry? Happy New Book? I digress…5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and the building is filled with the cheering of hundreds of Hogwarts students, elves, ghosts, and death eaters alike. Our time has come. These are so my people.

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