Well that didn’t take long. A link-following FrontBurnervian chimes in:
“The English language has been around for many, many years. Still, it’s hard to imagine the following sentence has ever been found on the printed page …”
… and it still hasn’t as far as I’m aware since it was a web-only story. Plus, the offending sentence is gone from the DMN site.
So it has. The item now ends with “Police were still trying to locate the missing candy.” My apologies to the nameless reporter who, ever so briefly, managed to sneak in a brilliant line to an otherwise mundane police report. I feel it’s my fault for pointing it out and bringing it to the attention of a killjoy editor.