PEOPLE IN DENVER WANT TO SELL YOU THE DMN — AGAIN

A FrontBurnervian with too much time on his hands tells us about a phone call he received last night:

The setting: Monday night at a quiet two-story home in North Dallas. The children have gone to bed for the evening, and the adults are finally enjoying the 23 minutes of silence and a chance to catch up on TiVo and three weeks’ worth of New Yorkers. The phone rings, and the caller ID says “Unidentified Caller” with a 303 area code. The homeowner knows his best friend lives in Denver, but certainly doesn’t recognize that as his number. He answers, thinking perhaps his friend is in need or in jail.

Homeowner: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, Mr. X?”

Homeowner: “Yes?”

Caller: “This is [insert generic name here] with the Dallas Morning News.”

Homeowner: “Okay.”

Caller: “What if I told you that you could have the Dallas Morning News delivered to you for just $1 every Sunday?”

Homeowner: “I’d tell you I already have a subscription to the Morning News.”

Caller: “But do you have a subscription for all seven days?” [Said with an emphasis evoking Bob Barker on The Price is Right]

Homeowner: “Yes. Yes, I do.”

Homeowner: “Why are you calling me from Denver?”

Caller: “Thank you for your time; here is the customer service number for the Dallas Morning News.”

[Call ends.]

Epilogue: Surely, in this the seventh year of the 21st century, a news and a technology company could provide a list to a telemarketer that shows who does and does not have a subscription to their flagship product.

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