LEADING OFF

1. A law allowing pets on patios isn’t going smoothly? Me shocked.

2. A teen is graduating with perfect lifetime attendance. My wife, you should know, also did not miss one day of school in her life. I missed exactly 100 days of three years of high school, and I graduated with a 4.2 GPA. Why didn’t we get newspaper stories devoted to us? IJS.

3. Hurst is telling homeowners to get the cars off the blocks and out of the yards. Insert your own joke here.

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