Long-suffering FBvians will recall the tale of Alexis, our receptionist, whose car was hit recently in the parking lot of Cafe Express. The culprit has finally been caught. Or, rather, he turned himself in. And it turns out, he’s a fine fellow after all. Keath Patterson recently moved to Florida, which is why we (and Alexis’ insurance company) had trouble reaching him. His wife saw the item on FrontBurner and called it to his attention. In a note to Alexis, Patterson apologized profusely, said he wasn’t even aware that he’d hit her car. And he says:
Due to the relentless investigations of the intrepid D News staff, I have been forced to flee the state. I am now in an undisclosed location in Florida, simultaneously making restitution and working on my tan.
