RE: STELLA MCCARTNEY COMES TO DALLAS

Yesterday, our very own Stephanie Quadri gave us this report of Stella getting her groove back at NorthPark. Below, another tale from a fashion-event-attending FrontBurnervian, whose views expressed in no way represent those of this organization and cannot be reproduced without the expressed written consent of Major Leauge Baseball association.

Last night’s social schedule got off to a bumpy start. You see I had to dress for a Symphony send off party for Andrew Litton that was taking place in a private home on Deloache an hour before the Stella party at Northpark. How do you pull off those two looks at once? So I went with Diane Von Furstenberg….the dress said I can appreciate all classical music as long as a dirty martini is in hand. Enter Northpark post Symphony gig to a blue carpet and a stop me dead in my tracks surprise….

Remember that fabulous tampax commercial circa 1999 with Grambling State dancers rocking out the football field mid-month? Well I find that to be one of the finest moments of sponsored television. Therefore the high school band, cheerleaders and drill team chanting “Go Stella” outside of Neiman’s made me a bit nostalgic. And let’s not forget the film the Academy overlooked a few year’s back, “Drumline.” Marching bands are clearly replacing the topless male doormen typical of most Neiman’s soirees. Once inside, I call the centerpiece of the party “Brokeback Fountain”…gay men in cowboy hats, timberland boots and teeny weeny (literally, H2O must have been real cold) speedos in the water treatments outside Tiffany. Those poor duckies and turtles had quite a nite. Included with the boys were tons of little light up rubber ducks….or maybe it was the ducks en-residence with designer drugs in their systems? Was it just the waves made by Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar or were the feathered friends in fact feeling the beat of the overhead DJ?

The “ultra-exclusive” crowd of what looked to be about 7,000 was represented largely by the rent vs. roots set…You know the ones. Twenty something designer blondes whose bank accounts either support rent or having their roots touched up at the salon each month. Seemed apartment complexes were going to make goal this May. Of course also well in attendance were the token gays that skinny fashion designers such as Stella seem to attract around here…of course their roots are always covered. Cash is not the only currency in that market. Enter Stella handled expertly by celeb zoo keeper extraordinare Ken Downing. (Observation: Ken and Greg Asher appear to be on strict diets of whey, correctol and gin.) I’m not sure Stella was a huge hit with the Dallas girls…or at least the 40% of girl attendees that were in fact female. One look at her unwashed hair and im-perfect bun and absence of any sort of foundation (facial or otherwise) let me know right away that girlfriend was not from around here. I mean can we really trust such an extreme animal rights activist? God invented leather shoes to be worn not scorned. She was a bit of an after thought, for the Neiman’s party is the best part of the Neiman’s party regardless of the headliner (with dirty head). Stella aside, I’d go back for the Oscar caliber entertainment alone. Summary: good use of my mascara, could have used one more coat!

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