DEF2 REVIEW: ZEROPHILIA

Bradley Parker also went to see Zerophilia and didn’t like it so much.

Zerophilia
Written & Directed by Martin Curland

With the success of movies like The X-Men mainlining through our pop culture, I’ll concede that I’ve spent more than a moment or two imagining what it would be like to have some genetic mutant ability that I could turn off and on at will. Invisibility? Check. Telekinesis? Check. Mind reading? Check and double check! I guess I’m pretty boring that way. I’ve never really considered other, lesser known conditions or possibilities. Zerophilia does, and then some.

Imagine this: you have the ability to change your gender. But only after sex. That’s right, kids! You find some hot young thing at the local bar, go home for an evening of aerobics, and wake up the next day a little less Ken and a whole lot more Barbie. If you’re anything like me, you’ll consider that for a good while, and spend the whole time waffling between ‘That is too cool!’ and ‘Ick! That is so disgusting!’

Such is the plight of our hero, Luke. He’s a young college man trying to find himself in the world and hoping along the way to find the right woman, to boot. And as such things are bound to happen; he stumbles upon the strikingly beautiful Michelle. It’s during this awkward courtship that Luke’s inner woman comes busting out. To make matters more complex, Luke, or Luca now, has started to feel a little more than friendship toward Michelle’s brother, Max. Aided by his (her?) thoroughly freaked out roommate, Keane, and Keane’s more than intrigued girlfriend, Luke sets out to get the answers he needs to get back to normal, enlisting the help of a strangely eager and siren-esque doctor, who is a specialist in the field of, believe it or not, zerophilia.

Things, and I mean things, get harder to hide from Michelle for Luke, and even more difficult to hide from Max for Luca, culminating in a series of confessions and awakenings that gives the entire story an oddly surreal ‘happily ever after.’ One that might have you reconsidering the whole mind reading and invisibility thing, in exchange for a walk on her wild side. Or his. But more than likely both.

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