This is a story about rock and roll. And those damn kids today. [shaking fist] Bob Sambol, as you may know, owns a steak and chophouse. Bob’s is good eatin’. Bob has some boys, Ryan, circa 18, and Philip, circa 22. They’re in a band with another guy named Matt. The band is called the Strange Boys. Great band. You can read about them and listen to their songs if you don’t believe me. I’ve now listened to the seven songs on their web site about 10 times each. They rock. So we thought, since the band just signed with a local label, we’d give them ink in the magazine. For Those Who Care, here’s why that isn’t going to happen:
Because Philip is a punk. He showed up to a photo shoot for us an hour and a half late. He was much less than profusely apologetic. His hair was a mess. He had holes in his jeans. When style editor Stephanie Quadri suggested Philip allow a makeup artist to touch him up with some foundation so that his young, firm flesh wouldn’t look too shiny for the shoot, he rebuffed her. Let it be known that Philip Sambol does not wear makeup. No. He believes the lighting can be adjusted so that makeup is not necessary.
Gentle Stephanie had also pulled some clothes for Philip to wear. Nice clothes. Expensive clothes. Cool clothes. Again, let it be known that Philip will only wear his own clothes, especially if the clothes he is offered and the stores from whence they came will have to be credited in the magazine.
Stephanie would not be denied a third time. She dismissed Philip.
And that is why you will not read about the Strange Boys in the pages of D. Alas. Because, as I said, the band rocks. We wish those damn kids lots of luck.