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Depending on your perspective, the circus is either a fun time for the whole family or it’s a horrible abuse of animals. Whatever. One thing we can all agree on, though: the following press release from the Ringling Bros. is a horrible abuse of the English language. It comes right out of the gate with a dangling modifier. And I’ve read the first sentence of the second graph five times. I still don’t know what it means:

DALLAS, TX (June 22, 2005) — Spanning more than three centuries, Children Of All Ages have relished the arrival of The Greatest Show On Earth to their hometown. The show comes to town in a 53-car-long steel coach and contains some of the most exotic cargo on earth. Housing artists from all over the world, accompanied by creatures large and small, the fabled Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey® train is a virtual Noah’s Ark!

In what promises to be a new twist to a longstanding tradition, Dallasites will see on the traditional elephant walk of The Greatest Show On Earth beginning at the South Plaza of the American Airlines Center. The short walk is followed by an elephantine snack for the star performers, courtesy of Minyard Food Stores. The evening would not be complete without a visit from the world famous Ringling Bros. clowns! This event, which will take place on Wednesday, July 6 from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m., heralds the arrival of the sizzling, all-new Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey, a sensational salute to the magnificent animals and performers that have inspired wonder and awe in audiences for 134 magical years.

Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey will play in Dallas at the American Airlines Center July 7-17 and in Fort Worth at the Fort Worth Convention Center July 20-24.