Monday, May 27, 2024 May 27, 2024
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RE: MARRIED MEN

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I’m getting some pretty nasty emails from married FrontBurnervian Females who don’t appreciate my blasé attitude toward their wondering hubbies. Back off, we’re trying to have fun. You’re sooo literal. I’ll let one have her say and then I’m going back to work:

Oh, Nancy, what a topic! Being the daughter of a serial cheater (no names, please), I simply can’t condone sleeping with the married, no matter how bad the marriage. The thing is, you don’t know how bad it is from the other side, no matter what the cheater says. And it’s not just between two people. It affects the entire family, and by that, I don’t just mean any children. I mean entire extended families. Just ask my mom’s family who still adore my dad and think she was crazy for ever becoming involved with someone else, and then actually marrying the someone else. You don’t even want to know the fallout of them attending his second wedding. It’s just such a terrible idea. Why do you think they call it homewrecking? I could never respect myself again and keeping my self-respect makes everything else bearable. Even if I haven’t gotten any in three years.

“Pardon me, waiter, but there aren’t enough plastic monkeys in my daiquiri.”

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