At the end of 2019, the biggest drama in the Dallas food scene was the Steak Race. Steakhouses across town were competing against each other to see who could sell the biggest, wildest, most expensive beef. Town Hearth introduced the $150 “Battle Axe.” Knife countered with a bone-in ribeye dry-aged for 240 days; it sold for almost a dollar a day. Then television chef Curtis Stone weighed in at Georgie with the winner: a $390 steak flown in from Australia.
How things have changed. Since those days, we’ve had a million people die from a pandemic, a few hundred people try to storm the U.S. Capitol and stage a coup, and a whole lot of other stuff to worry about. Things got so bad, Georgie even dropped the $390 meat. (Their most expensive regular offering now is $275.)
But if you’re nostalgic for the good old days when we spent more time thinking about food than insurrection, I have good news: the Steak Race is back!
Tuesday I got a press release announcing the reopening of SĒR Steak + Spirits, the steakhouse on the 27th floor of the Hilton Anatole. They have a new chef, Richard Hoffmann, and an all-new menu to match. Curious, I pulled up SĒR’s website and discovered the “Cadillac” (quotation marks in the original), for $280. Here’s the description: “38 oz. tomahawk, 16 oz. foie gras, flight of sauces.” The sauces are red chimichurri, au poivre, and béarnaise.
SĒR has helpfully confirmed that the foie gras is plated on top of the tomahawk steak so that its richness can melt into the meat. This actually sounds kind of fun, especially the sauce flight. Everyone should do sauce flights.
But most important: yes, we have entered a glorious new era of one-upmanship. Knife’s 240-day dry-aged ribeye is currently $235. Monarch has a 45-day dry-aged tomahawk, also 38 oz., for $240. But SĒR’s new Cadillac costs exactly $5 more than Georgie’s (current) high bid.
The Steak Race is in full swing. SĒR’s competitors are going to have to shape up if they want to beat the $280 new kid on the block. They will need a lot more than a dry-aging cabinet or a pound of foie.
Here are my suggestions for even more expensive, extravagant steaks. Chefs, you’re welcome to use these ideas, and please do not give me credit. Let’s get grilling!
The Influencer: $300
8 oz. filet mignon crusted in pink peppercorns and gold leaf, skewered and served on the rim of a bloody Mary, and on different skewers on top of the drink, there are also jumbo cocktail shrimp, a cheeseburger slider, and a Boston cream doughnut with sprinkles
It’ll look great on Instagram! Please note that this specially constructed, experiential dish is not served with plates.
The Cadillac Escalade: $475
38 oz. tomahawk steak, 38 oz. foie gras
Instead of steak topped with foie, why not go with equal parts of both?
The Booster: $500
18 oz. bone-in New York strip, loaded baked potato, two tickets to SMU football game (non-conference)
As part of your purchase, Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson will personally tweet praise for the SMU student athlete of your choice.
The Wagyar: $600
Wagyu and caviar, mixed together
Here’s the recipe, if you want to try this at home. First the chef takes a premium Miyazaki A5 Wagyu ribeye, raised and butchered in Japan and flown in to Texas. This is the most marbled steak in the world, resembling the photo above. Then the kitchen uses sophisticated precision laser guidance to cut out all the actual meat in the steak, leaving only the ribbons of fat. Finally, they spoon Golden Osetra caviar into all the little holes where meat used to be.
The Housewives: $750
8 oz. filet mignon, dry aged for 240 days and wrapped in edible gold, served with a shot of Monkey 47 dry gin
This cut is aged in the personal wine fridge of a prominent Dallas socialite. When it arrives at your table, your server will whisper the socialite’s name in your ear one time only before walking away. Listen carefully, because if you miss it, you don’t get to ask, “Sorry, what?” That’s why this order is so exclusive.
The Sugar Bae: $1,111
12 oz. boneless prime New York strip, that’s it
Salt Bae himself comes to your table to slice the steak and do his thing where he douses the steak in salt that he bounces off his elbow or whatever. But instead of salt, it’s cocaine.
The Miata: $40,010
38 oz. tomahawk steak served in an actual all-new 2022 Mazda MX-5 Miata, Grand Touring trim, which you get to keep
Unfortunately, our restaurant was only able to secure Miatas painted in platinum quartz, and the extra $10 is because of that dumb dealer add-on where they charge you to put a cargo net in the trunk. But, hey: it’s a Miata! For an additional $10, we’ll remove the pesky cargo net.