Goodbye Cliff. Goodbye The Loon. Dallas will never be the same without you.

Snarky Dallas and Fort Worth Food News Briefs

Today's edition of Snarky Dallas and Fort Worth Food News Briefs includes sad bar news, how to spell doughnut, and insight into the next hipster Asian food trend.

One of the original rollers of dough for doughnuts. (Courtesy of the Salvation Army)
One of the original rollers of dough for doughnuts. (Courtesy of the Salvation Army)

From my inbox to your eyes.

The Loon is gone. Closed. Never to be again. It’s sad. I hate CVS and I will never drive that stretch of Lemmon Avenue again as long as I live. Owner Cliff Gonzales may or may not open another bar. If Scott Reitz isn’t wrong, Gonzales will name the bar something else. Insert your favorite swear word here.

I failed to report Club Schmitz is dead. Grab a tissue and read their Facebook page.

Avner Samuel has gone silent. The phone at Nosh Euro Bistro is temporarily disconnected. I spoke with a secret in-the-know agent who informed me Samuel met with the landlord and the two couldn’t work out an agreement. The rent is going up and Samuel doesn’t want to pay it. Sometimes microeconomics is not a restaurateur’s best friend.

I predict Filipino food will be the next hipster Asian trend. How do I know this? I don’t. I’m predicting it and I’m watching Stephan Pyles’ Facebook page to see if he books a trip to tour the lechon restaurants in Cebu. They are famous for pig stomach stuffed with star anise, laurel leaves, and lemongrass. In the meantime, check out Manila Sun in Irving. (Meaningless side note: I once played on a girl’s softball team with some Filipino gals. We called our team the Manila Folders because we were so bad.) Next.

Doughnut v Donut. People, it’s spelled doughnut. Loooong story short: some nice ladies from the Salvation Army went to France in 1917 and used wine bottles to roll out dough, not “do.” They tossed them in boiling grease and gave the hot wads of fried dough, not “do,” to the soldiers. One persnickety soldier asked one of the nice ladies to put a hole in it so he could handle it easier.  Of course, she complied and the rest is culinary history.

Then, I think, Dunkin’ Donuts decided to change the spelling. It looked better on their dopey signs and it was easier for cops to read.  Now, we’re all confused.

We’d better get clear before tomorrow: it’s National Doughnut Day for grammarians and National Donut Day for the uneducated masses. Do a Google search it will boil your mind.

Hypnotic Donuts, not “dough,” has corralled a bunch of celebrities (Hi, Jack! Hi, Alice!) and Mayor Rawlings and is throwing a big bash on Friday. They must have slid thousands of free Expresso Yo Self doughnut wads to Rawlings and his staff, because tomorrow the mayor will proclaim the first Friday of every June from now until the end of time (thyme?) to be Dallas Donut Day. Disgusting on so many levels. It’s all here. Don’t forget to hash tag.

Kitchen LTO’s third round winning chef is California-native Brooke Egger. She is ready to go and is open for business. Egger’s menu is “urban regional cuisine influenced by time spent in different cities around the United States and abroad.” What that means is not immediately clear to me. Metroplex Cuisine? Whatever-is-in-the-fridge Food?

Oh wait, press release quote clears it up: Eggers says, “I use minimal ingredients for flavor forward food with an exciting and adventurous twist.” (Has she been talking to Tristan Simon?) Wait, owner Casie Caldwell is here to shed some light. “Her style was born in the Pacific Northwest with California influence, a hint of world flair and now a touch of Dallas.  We are really looking forward to this third round,” explains Kitchen LTO creator, Casie Caldwell. Go! It’s in Trinity Groves! Lunch, dinner, brunch. ( I can’t help myself. If Brooke Eggers dated Kevin Bacon they’d be…)