Last week, I received a text from Jack Perkins, the co-owner of The Slow Bone, with a picture of a “Certificate of Ministry” diploma. The text read: “I’m marrying one of my employees on Valentine’s Day.” I was confused. I thought Perkins was telling me he was going to marry one of his employees. He quickly set me straight. Perkins is now a certified (fill in the blank) ordained minister. On Friday, he presided over the wedding of his employee, Monica Garcia, to her beau, Dustin Tatro. As you can see in the picture, Perkins used Daniel Vaughn’s The Prophets of Smoked Meat as the book of gospel. Perkins is contemplating adding a wedding chapel to The Slow Bone. I think he should add a water slide and a petting zoo to the restaurant or perhaps an upstairs honeymoon suite (The Slow Boner), but what do I know about the restaurant business.