Somebody Help This Poor Girl: Best Way to Cook a Turkey

So many possible jokes, so little time. Let’s get down to it.

Hey Nancy. I  know this isn’t really a cooking blog but I need some help from your readers. I’ve been tasked with cooking the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve only cooked one once. My mother-in-law is a really great cook and she suggested I brine it. (I’m totally had to look that up.) Could you ask your readers for tips? There must be other people in the same boat.