Okay, I lied.
There’s no jelly in this taste test. Only peanut butter. (We’ll do jelly/jam another time.)
For all you readers allergic to nuts, I must go ahead and apologize. I’m sorry you can’t spend an afternoon licking creamy peanut butter off silver spoons while you watch Benedict Cumberbatch be the BEST SHERLOCK HOLMES, EVER. I’m sorry you can’t stick your index finger inside a jar of crunchy peanut butter, wriggle it around, and then… well, you know the drill. If I describe it any further it’s going to sound dirty.
Anyways, we took five different kinds of crunchy peanut butter and did a little taste test with all of ’em. Why did we choose crunchy over creamy? Because it’s got a more interesting texture, that’s why. And Ricky and I like it better. (That’s the real reason.) So deal with it.
Jump for the big reveal.
THE PEANUT BUTTERS
A. Sprouts’ crunchy natural peanut butter
B. MaraNatha’s organic, no-stir crunchy peanut butter (bought at Whole Foods)
C. Kroger’s crunchy natural peanut butter
D. Whole Food’s grind-it-yourself crunchy natural peanut butter
E. 365 Brand’s organic crunchy peanut butter (bought at Whole Foods)
THE TASTE TESTERS
A bunch of weirdos. Just kidding. I can’t remember. There were too many of them crowding my desk.
WHAT THEY SAID
A. Sprouts’ crunchy natural peanut butter
*Observation notes- This peanut butter makes a great base for Taiwanese peanut butter noodles. The peanut are chopped small, but they don’t get lost in the butter.
Taster 1 – crunchy, nutty, but just okay flavor
Taster 2 – chunky and mild
Taster 3 – very natural-tasting. Needs salt
Taster 4 – chalky. peanut-y. not terribly sweet.
Taster 5 – nice crunchy texture, but very bland
Taster 6 – strong nutty flavor, very crunchy, thick
Taster 7 – bland
B. MaraNatha’s organic, no-stir crunchy peanut butter
*Observation Notes: You can’t tell from the Photoshopped photo, but this butter had the ugliest manila-puke tint.
Taster 1 – creamy, not as nutty
Taster 2 – sweet and creamy. maybe too sweet
Taster 3 – nice creamy texture
Taster 4 – creamy. tasty.
Taster 5 – sweet, but not too sweet. nice and smooth! Awful color, though
Taster 6 – very creamy, with a little crunch, good medium
Taster 7 – sweet and creamy! yum!
C. Kroger’s crunchy natural peanut butter
*Observation notes: Definitely the runniest peanut butter.
Taster 1 – sticky. nice and nutty.
Taster 2 – the wettest and the nuttiest
Taster 3 – good texture, complex flavor (in a good way)
Taster 4 – yum. very peanut-y. traditional. creamy.
Taster 5 – tastes natural but BORING
Taster 6 – too salthy, too liquid-y
Taster 7 – salty
D. Whole Food’s grind-it-yourself crunchy natural peanut butter
*Observation notes: Look at that crunch.
Taster 1 – sticky, bland
Taster 2 – kind of chalky, roasted flavor
Taster 3 – very sticky. Too sticky!
Taster 4 – dry.
Taster 5 – This has a nice roast flavor. Texture is gross.
Taster 6 – bland, thick, and crunchy
Taster 7 – bland and mealy
E. 365’s organic crunchy peanut butter
*Observation notes: Looked like whole peanuts were in there.
Taster 1 – nice roasted flavor
Taster 2 – SO RICH.
Taster 3 – great flavor.
Taster 4 – perfectly crunchy. not dry. good.
Taster 5 – tastes like spreadable peanut brittle. yum!
Taster 6 – very salty
Taster 7 – slightly bitter
THE RESULTS
A. Sprouts’ – 0 votes
B. MaraNatha’s – 3 votes
C. Kroger’s – 2 votes
D. Whole Food’s – 1 vote
E. 365’s – 2 votes
CONCLUSION
Some people love creamy-crunchy peanut butter, and some people just love creamy-creamy. Peanut butter eaters are just as varied as the pebbles in the sea. Yep. Cliche, I know.
It’s actually kind of funny that MaraNatha won, despite the fact that so many people commented on its weird coloring. I guess that didn’t hold people back too much. Even though Kroger had the cheapest peanut butter, some tasters were wildly attracted to it. Don’t ask me why. Some people love super creamy (to the point of watery) peanut butter. That stuff won’t even stay on bread, fellas. It probably drips!