My Five Cents: Stupid Things People Say About Food

Blah, blah, blah.
Blah, blah, blah.

Sometimes people say the stupidest things about food. My “favorite” example of the folks I refer to as dishbags is the haughty diner who claims to be a vegetarian but still eats chicken and fish. My favorite “favorite” example of this kind of dishbaggery is a man who once told me: “I’m a vegetarian but I can’t give up bacon.”  Or maybe it’s the gal person who says she doesn’t believe she’s an alcoholic because all she drinks is wine. I’m not sure, they’re equally ignorant.

Last weekend, I was standing in line at La Ventana, the taqueria behind Meso Maya’s downtown location. Two 40-something women were in front of me and chatting as they perused the menu. One suggested they try the lengua. “I am not going to eat tongue,” the other one said. “Have you ever seen it at the grocery store? They leave those little bumps on it and it looks like they just ripped the tongue out of the cow.”

She stepped up to the window and ordered two barbacoa tacos. I wanted to tap her on the shoulder and tell her she was about to eat a facial muscle ripped from the skull of a cow, but I didn’t. I guess she prefers her cow without bumps.

Another misinformed movement is eating gluten free. People, it is not a diet to lose weight, it is a way of life for people who have a medical condition such as celiac disease. Their bodies do not tolerate gluten, the protein found in many starches and grains. I know two dishbags who are eating gluten-free food because they want to lose weight and it makes them feel better. They both give me tired head.

I’m walking over to La Ventana for a couple lengua tacos and a beer. I may not lose weight but I know I’ll feel better.


  • Ames_Mac

    Mmmm cow facial muscles sound so good right now.

  • Dan H

    Great post. The first example of dishbaggery that comes to mind for me is the universal response to my follow up question “why don’t you like Indian food?”. Almost without fail they will say “I don’t like curry.” I don’t know if I’m supposed to ask them if they don’t like Italian because they are anti-pesto or try to explain, for the 1000th time, that the comment “I don’t like curry” makes no sense.

  • Jon Alexis

    “I don’t want any fish that depletes the ocean’s stocks . And no farm-raised fish either.”

  • ColinZ

    Please explain. I don’t like Indian food, and I’ve always associated that with not liking the taste or smell of curry. If I can’t stand the smell of the join, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to like the food. But if I’m missing something, I’m willing to give it another try.

  • TheBradsBlog

    Man, my head is getting more and more tired. Dishbags abound.

  • Nancy Nichols

    Colin, I suggest you try a good Indian buffet such as the one during lunch hours at Madras Pavilion in Richardson. It’s a good way to taste a wide variety of Indian dishes. The common denominator in Indian food isn’t curry, it’s garam masala, a spice blend of coriander, cumin, ginger, cardamom, cloves, cinnamon, and bay leaves. Also, not every curry is the same—they vary in strength and spiciness. Which reminds me: People who say they don’t like mole….there is not one definitive recipe for mole so they all taste different….would love to hear a follow up to your experience. N

  • Carlos

    In my town there is a proverb, which says: “There are people in the world for all”

  • twinwillow

    I just read Uncle Nancy’s article. LMFAO!

  • Costly

    Hilarious. More like this. Love the wine comment!!

  • A chef

    As a chef I can vouch that there are an amazing amount of people that claim to be allergic to things they aren’t. I get requests for gluten free from people who munch on baguette. I get garlic allergies til I say they can’t have any sauce on the line then it changes to a preference. As a chef all it does is make us less sensitive to the guests with real allergies. I’ll never forget the lady that came in and said she was allergic to salt!

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  • ColinZ

    Thanks, Nancy. Funny, my first Indian food experience was at Madras Pavilion in Richardson in 2002. Tainted ever since.

  • Bellini

    The other night. I heard a young couple discussing margerita pizza. They thought somehow the ingriedients were items to make margeritas and were confused by why they called it that. I would not have believed it. If I had not overheard them myself. Wow!

    • Gipson

      That one actually seems pretty believable to me. You don’t know until you know, right? I probably thought the same thing, however briefly, the first time I heard of margherita pizza.

  • Borborygmus

    Declaring “spring mix” salad greens a public menace was about the stupidest thing I’ve ever read from a food writer. Tell that to the school kids on high fat diets. Let them eat Lola Rosa.

  • Dan H

    To be honest, i’m not a fan of Madras Pavilion either. My personal favorite is Chettinaad Palace. Also, if the smell puts you off, you’re gonna get the same type of smell at all Indian restaurants so this may just be a non starter. I guess my point is more that India is a huge country with a wide variety of foods. Also like Nancy said, there is no one curry. Moreover, curry dishes (by that i just mean a meat or vegetable in a gravy) is a small portion of Indian cuisine. There are dry grilled items, deep fried, steamed etc…. Not everything is a stew.

    I liken the “i don’t like curry” sentiment to trying general tso’s chicken and orange chicken and then deciding you don’t like Chinese food. There’s so much more to the cuisine than just those items.

    I’m certainly not trying to patronize as well, I’m happy you are open to giving it another shot.

  • btc

    “My wife is allergic to the smell of cooked lamb.” This was said about a woman who once graced your pages based on her amazing shoe collection. The statement and the woman are equally as smart.

    I’m a vegan who doesn’t quiz my waiter to death over the egg content of the buns my veggie burger comes on – does this make me a “dishbag” for not being a REAL, 100%, honest vegan, or does it make me a hero for not being that way?

  • Nancy Nichols

    You sound normal to me.

  • RandyRice

    I drink wine and so glad to know ill never be an alcoholic! Hilarious. Good laugh. Needed that today. Thanks.

  • TipptTaco

    I tried lengue tacos at La Ventana today. That bitch is missing one damn good taco. Thanks for the tip

  • TipptTaco

    I went to La Ventana today and tried the lengue tacos. That bitch has no idea what she is missing. Thanks for the tip.

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  • henry

    woman in front of me in line at freebirds asked the cashier “do the pot brownies really have marijuana in them? if so, i can’t give them to my children.”