Top Chef: Seattle, Episode Seven

Danyele still doesn’t believe in herself, Josh can’t cook pork, and Tesar is… Tesar. Let’s get straight to it.

Round 1: Quickfire Challenge

The guest chef this week is Stephanie Izard, the only woman to ever win Top Chef. Padma tells her little cheftestants they can cook anything they want, but all their ingredients are wrapped in foil, and they have to use everything they grab. Oh, and one more thing: their only cooking vessel is aluminum foil. Fun times.

Kristen makes a sponge cake (“That is the ballsiest sh*t I have heard of,” says Danyele), Tesar makes egg drop chicken soup with ground beef, Bart does a beer-poached cod, and Danyele makes a comforting bowl of canellini bean stew. Padma and Stephanie loved it. Danyele’s confidence is boosted just a smidge. Of course, Kristen wins immunity from her almond and chocolate sponge cake. She’s the only one who doesn’t have to go head-to-head with another chef in the next round. Lucky, lucky her.

Round 2: The Elimination

The chefs have to go compete against each other at Remlinger Farm and cook a dish in 3 hours that’ll highlight a certain berry. They have to feed 150 people. Oh boy. Here’s what the match-up looks like:

  • Josh vs. Danyele (blueberry)
  • Tesar vs. Stefan (gooseberry)
  • Bart vs. Brooke (blackberry)
  • Sheldon vs. Micah (strawberry)
  • Josie vs. Lizzie (raspberry)
  • Kristen all by her lonesome (tayberry)

Everyone’s work space is tiny and cramped, so everyone is pretty grumpy. “Everyone (is) crying like little children. It’s just really uncomfortable. I can’t measure anything. My proportions are all out of whack,” says Tesar. Sheldon, who is always steady and cool, says he’s going to make “something light and refreshing that’s going to kick Micah’s @$$.” This is just a snippet of all the smack talk that goes around.

Things get heated when Colicchio checks out the Stefan/Tesar area. Here’s how it goes:

Bald child (Stefan) calls other child (Tesar) a “53-year-old man.” Tells the other child to run into his knife. (Can’t tell if he’s really kidding or not.) Tesar tells Colicchio he noticed Stefan using frozen tuna instead of fresh fish to make a crudo with radishes and gooseberry. Later he tells the camera, “I’m not throwing him under the bus. (BS) I’m making a political statement today. It wasn’t the fact that it’s frozen. (Obviously BS) It’s the fact that it’s not sustainable.”

Tesar makes a white gazpacho with Spanish chorizo that ends up being in the bottom five. “I wouldn’t even flush my poop with it. That’s how bad it was,” says Stefan during their cat fight.

John, Bart, Josie, Danyele, and Micah end up in the bottom. Tesar gets really scared and says, “I’m not making any excuses,” but of course, you know he’s making excuses. But at least he’s saved. Kristen Kish wins the $10,000 for her matcha goat milk custard with tayberries (it looks awesome), and Danyele ends up going home for her super crunchy crostini and rubbery chicken. She doesn’t shed a single tear, even though we’re all shedding tears for her. She’s a sweetheart.

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