Be Scared: Cupcakes ATMs are Coming to Dallas

Yes way.

It’s 1 a.m. and you have a massive cupcake craving that’s ruining your entire night. What do you do? Suck it up? Brave the night, albeit cupcakeless, as man was designed to do since the very beginning of time?

No, because starting as early as fall, word has it that you can go to a cupcake ATM at Sprinkles‘ Plaza at Preston Center location for a late-night snack. The machine is supposed to hold 600 cupcakes at one time, and, according to Bradford Pearson on Park Cities People, “the cupcakes are cycled out to maintain freshness. All uneaten cakes go to a local charity.”

Pray, tell me which local charity would want stale Sprinkles cupcakes? The fresh ones are honestly scary enough. It’s a simple mathematical formula for those of you who understand equations. 1 Sprinkles cupcake consumed = 1 new cavity created.

Convenience has reached a whole new level of ridiculosity. I fear for future generations.