Mexican Bologna Smuggler Busted at the Border

I know, this little story I am about to tell you has nothing to do with Dallas other than the fact that I read DMN editor Bruce Tomaso’s post on Scoop.

According to Tomaso, whose witty reporting on the opening of In-N-Out Burger gave us the phrase “hot on fries,” U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers seized 385 pounds of contraband bologna. (Which is a good name for a band.) Tomaso infers implies “some people who come to the United States from Mexico prefer the flavor of their native bologna to the comparatively bland varieties found in American supermarkets.”

Which begs the question: Do Mexican bologna manufacturers have a secret ingredient we need to know about? Maybe Maple & Motor needs to get the word out on their stellar baloney sandwich. Oh, I have a joke on the edge of my tongue but I can’t type it. Feel free to fill in the blank.


  • DGirl

    Bologna smuggling. So is that what they’re calling it these days?

  • Beda

    Tomaso implies, you infer.

  • The Pope of Kessler Park

    Contraband Bologna is an awesome name for a band.

  • DGirl

    My baloney has a first name is M-E-X -ico
    My baloney has a second name is contra-band, oh no!
    Oh! I like it sneak it in this way,
    And if border patrol asks why I say
    Cuz gringo baloney tastes like ass
    And it’s easier to ship than grass.

  • Thanks, Beda. I flunked English!

  • Jeannie

    Made my day!!

  • Twinwillow

    I got stopped at the border one day because they thought I was smuggling a baloney in my pants. Boy, were they embarrassed when they realized I wasn’t.

  • Marcus

    DGirl is awesome.

  • DGirl

    Thank you, Marcus. I feel the same way about you.