Bonathon Responds To Challenge By Fake Bonathon

Did you miss the high drama from last Friday? Josh Storie, an intern at Levenson & Brinker PR, challenged our intern, Bonathon, to a duel.  This is all still sooo Facebook. Bonathon fires back:

To the fake Bonathan or as henceforth shall be known as: Fonathan,

You’re clever, I’ll give you that. Quick with your words and clearly eager to prove your mettle as you found it within yourself to actually challenge the original. But let it be known, no one challenges me and gets away with it. Unless you are bigger than me, which in that case, by all means “no I was not looking at your girl funny.” That said, I am Steve Perry, and you are that guy from the Philippines. You might sound like me, and carry the same swagger but I was here first and I rocked harder than Nic Cage on Alcatraz. AMERICA.

Your challenge was intriguing and so, for the past week, I have gone into hiding to prepare myself mentally and physically for our challenge. And let me just say, you’re about to get a taste of the peoples’ elbow. Ooo-ah-ah-ah! You didn’t really think I was gonna let you pick the venue, did you? Bow to your sensei! We will let the people of SideDish decide this one. SIDEDISHERS: Offer your suggestions on the place and method in which I should administer my beat down of this Fonathan. (Please nothing too scary. Or intense. Or involving like, running. Checkers would be a good suggestion. Or Pictionary. Just saying.) And to Fonathan: the loser of this challenge shall be banished from Dallas forever (excluding major holidays, including Texas-OU weekend and random weekends when nothing is going on at school). The winner, shall be rightfully titled Bonathan, but this seems redundant as I’m already called that. *grabs a Coors Light, shotguns it, crushes can on forehead* Bring it!
P.S. Freshly starched Polo? Psh, shows exactly why you’re a knockoff of the real deal. Brooks Brothers is the original. Read a book.