Texas Monthly Claims The Hamburger Was Invented In Texas

This burger is not from Dallas. It can't be good.
This burger is not from Dallas. It can’t be good.

Sometimes when I read food stories in Texas Monthly I get really jealous of their food reviewer, Pat Sharpe. I mean that skinny bitch has the whole state of Texas to choose from when she eats and writes. There have been so many times when I have been sitting in a dive-of-a restaurant somewhere in Texas and I find myself saying, “This would be such a great Texas Monthly story.”

Of course, instead of sending the information to Pat like a respectable colleague, I sit on it. Yes, that is not nice, but it is the way I roll. Who knows, Pat could move to New York and Evan Smith could call me and say, “Hey remember all of those Texas Monthly story ideas you had? Why don’t you come down here and write them for us? You can have an office right next door to Brian D. Sweany and we will pay you $10 a word.”

POP! SMACK! Fade to reality:
The cover story for the August issue of Texas Monthly reveals the 50 Best Burgers in Texas. In the same issue, there is a story by Gary Cartwright, a writer I liked until he wrote that stupid nostalgic  piece on  geezer sportswriters in June (no link, find it yourself). Anywhoo, Mr. Cartwright is going to prove to all of us that the hamburger was invented in Texas. And I am going to weigh 110 pounds tomorrow morning.

So, we have TexMo’s take on the best hamburgers in Dallas and how they rank in the state. I can’t wait. It’s such a great Dallas story.