Burger Review: The Stodg at The Porch

The charm of The Porch has alluded me for some time now. Yes, it buzzes with energy and the vintage t-shirt/flip flop wearing crowd is a nice distraction. And, yes, the food is comfy and sometimes quite good. (Chili, onion rings, fish and chips, and the ubiquitous sliders — tasty brisket — are some of my faves.) But the wait is often too long (1 1/2 hours for sliders?!?), the noise level near deafening, and it seems an awful lot of hubbub for good bar and grill food. But then I had the Stodg burger–quite possibly the best burger in Dallas–and everything changed. Named after Consilient investor and Dallas lawyer Steve Stodghill (“because everything he used to eat was bad for him,” said our waiter), the Stodg burger is a calorie counter’s nightmare come to aorta-bursting life: beef, bacon, cheddar, and egg over easy stuffed between a foie buttered bun. Sounded kind of unappetizing. Looked intimidating. But ever the culinary masochist, I ordered it. The bun squished with appropriate give. With one gluttonous bite, the egg yolk dripped between my fingers, beef juice pooled in the food basket, and bacon hung from my teeth. “Dude, gross,” said my poetic dining companion. And, yes, it was gross. And rich. And amazing. Most burgers come and go in a span of 15 minutes leaving little to remember but a burp and full belly. Twenty minutes if it’s a double meat. The best–Angry Dog, Wingfield’s, dearly depared Rose’s–leave a smile on your face. But the Stodg burns in your memory as it hardens your arteries. I wouldn’t even eat any of the accompanying sea salted fries before I finished the burger lest I take up valuable stomach space. And finish it I did. I’ll say it again: Best. Darn. Burger. Ever.


  • Marcus

    Thanks Tristan!

  • allison

    Hells bells. I gave up red meat for Lent.

  • Craig

    Can anyone shed some light on the reason(s) behind The Porch’s odd habit of asking for your full name at the hostess stand even when there’s no wait whatsoever? I’m not complaining (too much), since it’s given my friends and me a moderately amusing and certainly childish new game: Make Up a Fake Name and Try Not to Smile When You Say It. Today I was Kenny Ballzak. A few weeks ago, Herbert Tongueslinger.

  • Dr. Freud

    Next time, may I suggest using “Wick Allison” or “Nancy Nichols”?

  • Daniel

    You mean eluded. I think you know what I’m alluding to.

  • Wick Pickle

    Wick and Ron Pauliegrille were there, last Sat. I know because I was Mr. Pauliegrille and my buddy was Wick.

  • Bart

    I’ve been working my way through the DFW entries in Texas Monthly’s list of the best 50 burgers in Texas. After eating the Stodg this past Sunday, I can confidently say that it can’t hold a candle to the burger at The Grape.