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Diary of a Debutante: Get Your Elbows Off The Table

By Monica Lake |
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Etiquette2
Tiffany Table Manners For Teenagers at Barnes and Noble.

D Moms intern (and 2011 Dallas Symphony Orchestra Debutante) Monica Lake talks etiquette and how teaching children good manners early on reap all manner of benefits later in life. Diary of a Debutante is a three-part series through the rest of the summer. 

By Monica Lake

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Did  you know that when eating soup, it’s unacceptable to put the whole spoon in your mouth? Or that you’re not supposed to photograph the table or the food because it looks desperate? (Instagrammers, I’m talking to you!) Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you which spoon is your caviar spoon or how to properly eat your escargot, but I will address some much too common manner mistakes we make in this day and age that can easily be corrected.

 

Ladies first: Like I said in my last post, chivalry doesn’t have to be dead. Just because women are seen as equals today doesn’t mean we shouldn’t still be treated as ladies. At the table, boys should stand until all the ladies have sat down (in more formal settings, of course) and make sure the girls have their food before they serve their own plates. Teaching your boys this lesson from an early age will help mold them in the men you’d like them to be. For example, my two-year-old cousin, Noah, has been taught to always blow a kiss whenever he is introduced to a lady friend, and now he’s the heartthrob of the nursery. Whether it’s teaching them not to shove girls on the playground or to always open the door for others, instilling these gestures of kindness in them is the first step in developing the skills your your little man will need to be the perfect gentleman one day.

Unplug: I have five worlds for our screen-addicted generation: put the cell phones away. I know we’ve grown up in a multi-tasking world, but divided attention can be extremely disrespectful. This task can be surprisingly difficult because we live with such a casual demeanor, and kids get used to talking to people with their face simultaneously buried in their devices. To remedy this, when you are speaking with your children, make them put their handhelds down and look you in the eye. (And, of course, do the same yourself.) Also, make a rule that all phones must be put away at the table- no texting, gaming, or phone calls. This may sound severe, but I promise it will pay off, and they’ll thank you one day. It will give them a chance to learn how to interact face-to-face with people and hold an engaged conversation, which many kids their age probably won’t be able to do.

Make conversation: Talk to the people around you. If you have guests over, it’s important to teach your littles to make conversation with them. It can be hard at first, especially since children aren’t usually too fond of talking to people they don’t know. As a kid, I was terrified to talk to any type of stranger- even my parent’s oldest friends (they were all scary adults to me). Not to worry though, shyness is curable! I’ve become so talkative, I could talk off a brick wall’s ear. You can encourage your kids by giving them a list of questions to ask beforehand to get the ball rolling. Eventually, it will all come naturally and on their own accord. Dinner is a time to be enjoyed by all. Some of my family’s funniest and most meaningful conversations have occurred at our dining table. Just make sure to include your guests. Keep it light and keep it fun.

Oh, and make sure they keep their elbows off the table. The Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers says it all (pictured above).

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