Everyone on Real Housewives of Dallas serves a purpose. D’Andra is the voice of reason, and has a hot husband. Kameron Westcott delivers ridiculous lines with utter sincerity and seriousness. (May we never forget her deadpan delivery of “This is why you have plastic.”) Cary gives us Mark who gives us something. United, Brandi and Stephanie are the Sheana Marie of RHOD — they’re easily manipulated into alliances and have a naiveté about them that’s both endearing and, at times, worrisome. Also, I can totally see one of them saying, “It’s all happening.”
But don’t get it twisted. LeeAnne Locken is the number one power player of the RHOD. She’s the sparkle-speckled glue of the show. She has a hand in every fight (except that one Plano argument between Brandi and Kameron), and a comeback for every attack. She had a small but visible role in Miss Congeniality, and she won’t let you forget it. Her “They’re Just Hands” monologue will haunt me forever and should be recited in every soap opera audition until the end of time. But the icing on the cake that Stephanie will eventually pop out of: LeeAnne has an incredible Instagram account.
On a scale of 1 to the Britney Spears apex of social media authenticity, I’d give it an eight. There’s a wonderful mix of inspirational quotes, pictures of LeeAnne at her favorite local spots (the Round-Up!), #SponCon of course, and some simply bananas throwbacks to her modeling days that will blow your mind wide open. It’s fun!
So, in honor of Real Housewives of Dallas’ season three renewal, I did a deep dive on Locken’s Instagram to make my case.
Exhibit A: Self Awareness
Who knows where this random stock photo of leather gloves came from, or whether or not “They’re Just Hands” has actually been registered with the US Patent & Trademark Office, but who cares! I would buy these gloves, and I bet they’d work quite well.
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
Exhibit B: Inspirational Quotes + Headshots = Insta Gold
Sure, LeeAnne could just post an inspirational quote on its own, and on occasion she does. But the Housewife possesses the social media savvy to know that a picture, no matter how random and free of context, is worth a thousand inspiring words.
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
Exhibit C: The Masks!
Our girl loves a mask! What of it?
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
Exhibit D: Occasional Shade
Surprisingly, LeeAnne keeps the shade pretty minimal on her Instagram, but when she does decide to throw a little, she does so with vintage Barbies and Cardi B, which is how all shade shall henceforth be thrown.
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
Exhibit F: She Never Misses a Holiday
Valentine’s, Easter, Gay Pride… no matter the occasion, LeeAnne has a (usually whimsically photoshopped) photo for them all.
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
Exhibit F: Modeling Days
She deploys these sparingly, but when they hit your feed, they hit hard, rarely have context, and are a pure joy. I rest my case.
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
A post shared by LeeAnne Locken (@leeannelocken) on
