Big Tex photo by Jason Janik.


Dallas Horror Stories, in Six Words

Brevity is the soul of horror in these terrifying, only-in-Dallas tales.

For Halloween, we came up with 20 only-in-Dallas stories that are sure to petrify and scare you. And because brevity is the soul of wit horror, we decided to tell each of these spine-tingling tales in only six words:

We have to move to Houston.

Real Housewives of Dallas Season Nine.

God: Brunch is cancelled now, forever.

New restaurant opening; no valet parking.

Pecan Lodge has no more brisket.

Take the High Five to LBJ.

Unfortunately, the margarita machine is broken.

Let’s say Concrete Cowboy for drinks.

Selena Gomez performs in Deep Ellum.

It’s time for Texas OU Weekend.

Big Tex blinks. He is awoken.

Thanks for driving the Trinity Tollway.

Six story apartments in Oak Cliff.

Ma’am, every mimosa has a bottom.

All the fried food is people.

For sale: Local newspaper, declining subscribers.

Maybe just one more Calatrava bridge.

World class city desperately seeks validation.

It’s a quarterback controversy in Dallas.

“Call it the Metroplex!” he cackled.

— Stories by Alex Macon, Jason Heid, Ricky Ferrer, Caitlin Clark, and Gable Mansfield

Howdy Halloween. Illustration by Christina Rees.
Howdy Halloween. Illustration by Christina Rees.


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  • Eric Foster

    Highland Park and University Park annexed into Dallas.

    • Alex Macon

      Nice. “The Park Cities annexed into Dallas” keeps it to six words.

  • T_S_

    John Wiley Price is found innocent.

  • Tony Romo is your starting quarterback.

  • dallasmay

    Mark Cuban requests new stadium money.

  • Fowler Nordheim

    Dallas is a suburb of Frisco.

  • Poetaster Dallas

    Trump names Rawlings Director of HUD.

  • Poetaster Dallas

    Rawlings named to State Fair Board.

  • Rob

    Houston has a great art museum (not contributing here, just defending the first post)

    • kellyjkitchens

      I’m with you, Rob!! Houston has Amazing art museums!!

    • Alex Macon

      Respect due to Houston. The Rothko Chapel and UGK are great.