The Real Housewives of Dallas is coming. Some scintillating details about the cast have already emerged, as have promises of “big drama,” but there are few specifics about the narrative thrust of the upcoming reality television show. We may know who they are, but we have no idea what The Real Housewives of Dallas will do when their time to shine arrives.
We’re left to speculate. With little more than the official announcement, one trailer, and some blog posts to go on, we put together six potential storylines we hope to see unfold. Knowing that reality can often be stranger than fiction, we’re curious to see what actually happens when the show premieres April 11 on Bravo. For now, here are our guesses as to what to expect from the “big drama” on Real Housewives of Dallas.
1. Tiffany Hendra,
the first Asian-American cast in Real Housewives history, uses this new platform to advocate for more diversity in television programming, arguing that a show as Real as Housewives should more fairly reflect the United States’ cultural diversity. Her “troubled past” opens up a dialogue about pornography: Hendra’s radical sex-positive feminism conflicts with another housewife’s view that pornography consumption leads to the objectification of women, unhealthy expectations about sex, and difficulties with intimacy in romantic relationships. Mayor Mike Rawlings hears rumors that the words “sex” and “Dallas” are being used in the same sentence on national television, and immediately bans the Real Housewives from the city. In a cliffhanger season finale, the Housewives are forced to endure exile in the dreaded high society of Houston while their lawsuit against the city of Dallas is pending.
2. Brandi Redmond, a former cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys, throws a glass of champagne in someone’s face in the season opener. She says something like, “Y’all messed with the wrong cowgirl.” Drama ensues.
3. Former Miss USA competitor LeeAnne Locken is proud of her leading “efforts for several charitable organizations in Dallas.” However, Locken recognizes the limits of philanthropy and acknowledges that true social and economic justice can only come about through dramatic changes in public policy. Disgusted by a class system that allows only some Housewives to be Real, Locken uses her segments on the show to call for wealth redistribution, starting with higher income taxes on the nation’s richest 1 percent. In episode No. 3, Locken comes to believe that a revolution of the proletariat is the only way to achieve her goals. She renounces the capitalist system that made her a Real Housewife and turns her Preston Hollow estate into a Marxist commune from which to coordinate several direct action campaigns.
4. Cary Deuber and her “plastic surgeon husband” Mark are struck by an epiphany in episode No. 2. Their realization, in part: “American society places too much value in physical attractiveness, a problem we can likely trace back to unrealistic media portrayals of beauty, but one that we nevertheless propagate through some actions of our own.” Cary closes her “aesthetic injectable practice” and shaves her head. The Deubers sign on full time with Operation Smile and administer reconstructive plastic surgery to those in need in impoverished communities.
5. The Real Housewives, contractually obligated to ride horses and wear ten-gallon hats at least once per episode, are drinking mimosas at the Fort Worth Stockyards or something. “Girl next door” Stephanie Hollman, an Oklahoma native, is offended when she overhears a disparaging remark about the Sooners football team. The bonds of friendship are tested over this defining incident on Real Housewives.
6. “Friend to the Housewives” Marie Reyes wonders why there aren’t any other Hispanic women on the main cast, citing U.S. Census statistics regarding Dallas County’s diverse population, as well as studies on trends in Hispanic Americans’ media consumption. “Bravo is not only painting an inaccurate picture of Dallas’ demographics,” Reyes may say in a moving speech at one of the Real Housewives’ many galas. “The network risks alienating a large and growing audience of Americans who want to see themselves represented on television.” Bravo agrees, and re-casts the entire show halfway through the season.