There are more like 1,000,000 musical performers we'd rather see than Luke Bryan on Thursday, but blog posts need word limits. Photo courtesy UMG Nashville.

Luke Bryan Is Playing the Cowboys Thanksgiving Halftime Show. We Have 171 Better Ideas.

Thanksgiving is hard enough without Luke Bryan.

I don’t expect James Brown live at the Apollo during the halftime show of the annual Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving game. I don’t expect The Who live at Leeds. I don’t expect a great, or even good, performance.

But Luke Bryan, this year’s musical act, is a new low for a show that’s featured Pitbull not once, but twice, in the last five years. The show, for the 19th year, will tie into the kickoff for the Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign. That’s great, and you can donate online right here. You can also donate to the North Texas Food Bank, or one of many other charitable organizations that have not given their tacit support to Luke Bryan, a man who should be in the Hague for his crimes against country music.

Bryan is probably a lovely guy, and I am willing to acknowledge that his music may just not be for me. However, Thanksgiving is hard enough as is. I am really dreading welcoming Bryan into my home Thursday via my family’s traditional watching of the Cowboys game and our customary awkward chit-chat about the halftime performer. Dreading it so much, in fact, that I just want to get ahead of things for 2016 and make some suggestions for musical acts. In keeping with this year’s country music theme, I’ve stuck with active country performers for the purposes of the upcoming list.

Here are 171 musical acts I’d rather see than Luke Bryan during the Cowboys halftime show. Happy Thanksgiving.

  1. Alan Jackson
  2. Alison Krauss & Union Station
  3. Andy Gibson
  4. Ashley Monroe
  5. Ashton Shepherd
  6. The Band Perry
  7. Big Kenny
  8. Billy Craig
  9. Billy Currington
  10. Blackberry Smoke
  11. Blaine Larson
  12. Bomshel
  13. Brad Paisley
  14. Brantley Gilbert
  15. Brett Eldredge
  16. Brooks & Dunn
  17. Bucky Covington
  18. Caitlin & Will
  19. Carrie Underwood
  20. Casey James
  21. Cassadee Pope
  22. Chris Cagle
  23. Chris Stapleton
  24. Chris Young
  25. Chuck Wicks
  26. Clay Walker
  27. Colt Ford
  28. Cole Swindell
  29. Corey Smith
  30. Craig Campbell
  31. Craig Morgan
  32. Cross Canadian Ragweed
  33. Crossin Dixon
  34. Danielle Peck
  35. Danny Gokey
  36. Darius Rucker
  37. Darryl Worley
  38. David Nail
  39. Dean Brody
  40. Dierks Bentley
  41. Dolly Parton
  42. Dustin Lynch
  43. Easton Corbin
  44. Edens Edge
  45. Eli Young Band
  46. Emily West
  47. Eric Church
  48. Eric Paslay
  49. Faith Hill
  50. Frankie Ballard
  51. Garth Brooks
  52. Gary Allan
  53. George Strait
  54. Gloriana
  55. Gretchen Wilson
  56. Hank Williams III
  57. Heidi Newfield
  58. Hunter Hayes
  59. The JaneDear Girls
  60. Jack Ingram
  61. James Otto
  62. James Wesley
  63. Jamey Johnson
  64. Jana Kramer
  65. Jaron and the Long Road to Love
  66. Jason Michael Carroll
  67. JB and the Moonshine Band
  68. Jennette McCurdy
  69. Jerrod Niemann
  70. Jessica Harp
  71. Jessie James
  72. Jewel
  73. Jimmy Wayne
  74. Jo Dee Messina
  75. Joe Nichols
  76. Joey + Rory
  77. Jon Pardi
  78. Josh Abbott Band
  79. Josh Gracin
  80. Josh Kelley
  81. Josh Thompson
  82. Josh Turner
  83. JT Hodges
  84. Julianne Hough
  85. Justin Moore
  86. Kacey Musgraves
  87. Keith Anderson
  88. Keith Urban
  89. Kellie Pickler
  90. Kelly Clarkson
  91. Kenny Chesney
  92. Kevin Fowler
  93. Kid Rock
  94. Kip Moore
  95. Kix Brooks
  96. Kristin Chenoweth
  97. The Lacs
  98. Lady Antebellum
  99. Laura Bell Bundy
  100. Lauren Alaina
  101. LeAnn Rimes
  102. Lee Ann Womack
  103. Lee Brice
  104. Little Big Town
  105. LoCash Cowboys
  106. Lonestar
  107. The Lost Trailers
  108. Love and Theft
  109. Lucy Hale
  110. Lyle Lovett
  111. Mark Chesnutt
  112. Mark Wills
  113. Martina McBride
  114. Matt Kennon
  115. Matt Mason
  116. Marty Stuart
  117. Michelle Branch
  118. Miranda Lambert
  119. Miss Willie Brown
  120. Montgomery Gentry
  121. Pat Green
  122. Phil Vassar
  123. Pistol Annies
  124. Randy Houser
  125. Randy Montana
  126. Randy Travis
  127. Rascall Flatts
  128. Reba McEntire
  129. Reckless Kelly
  130. Rodney Atkins
  131. Ronnie Dunn
  132. Rose Falcon
  133. Rosanne Cash
  134. Sam Hunt (musician)
  135. Sara Evans
  136. Sarah Buxton
  137. Sarah Darling
  138. Sasha Pieterse
  139. Scotty McCreery
  140. Shania Twain
  141. Sheryl Crow
  142. Shooter Jennings
  143. Sia
  144. Skylar Laine
  145. Steel Magnolia
  146. Steve Azar
  147. Steve Earl
  148. Steve Holy
  149. Sugarland
  150. Sunny Sweeney
  151. Taylor Swift
  152. Terri Clark
  153. The Dirt Daubers
  154. The Farm
  155. The Henningsens
  156. Thomas Rhett
  157. Thompson Square
  158. Tim McGraw
  159. Trace Adkins
  160. Tracy Lawrence
  161. Trailer Choir
  162. Trent Tomlinson
  163. Toby Keith
  164. Troy Olsen
  165. Tyler Farr
  166. Uncle Kracker
  167. Walker Hayes
  168. Whitney Duncan
  169. Willie Nelson
  170. Wynonna
  171. Zac Brown Band

S/O to Wikipedia.

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