Dallas Season 3, Episode 7: Long Cons

Border crossing, double crossing, and a hospitalized Sue Ellen.

John Ross’ treacherous Gal Friday gets the pink slip on Monday night’s episode of Dallas, and she and her yet-to-be-soiled blue dress are sent packing. It’s a plot device that I, for one, am happy so see go away. Junior finally sees through Candace’s clumsy attempts to become the udder woman (“I’m cute, but I’m not that cute,” he tells Bub as she skulks off). He gives the family henchman the task of delving into her background, assuming that her over-attentiveness was a failed attempt at a sexual harassment suit. Candace returns to the Ryland bordello where a displeased Harris gives her the boot too, proving that it’s hard out here for more than just pimps. She later runs into Emma and tells her about her dad’s nefarious scheme. Emma confronts Harris, and he shows her the faked pics of John Ross with the two prostitutes—one being sixteen.

The fugitive Drew Ramos, who has been hiding out down Mexico way at Casa Trevino, is seized with remorse for his involvement in the bombing that ended in the loss of Pamela Barnes’ unborn twins. He calls up his sister Elena with his desire to turn himself in. Meanwhile, Elena and Nicolas fear that an introduction of an emotionally-imbalanced wild card will foil their revenge plot against the Ewings, so they tell him to cool out. Elena tries to throw Christopher off the trail of the true identity of Nicolas Trevino by presenting him with fake orphanage papers belonging to “Juan Hernandez,” but he doesn’t buy it.  Elena has a change of heart when Nicolas tries to get her to send John Ross and Emma’s Cheaters audition tape to Pamela, but Trevino does an end run behind her back and has the detective send him the video instead. Later he texts the evidence to Pamela’s phone, where it remains unseen.

Drew smuggles himself over the border and makes his way back to Big D. He comes upon Chris in an underground parking lot and offers his condolences. This earns him a “welcome back” beatdown to within an inch of his life, Chris only pulls back at the last minute, allowing Drew to continue living in misery as a child-killer. Chris goes to Heather’s afterward to show her his knuckle “ouchies,” hoping to get her to kiss it and make it better. Heather’s drunken baby daddy Bo shows up outside her door, hoping to win her back, but sees Chris there and demands satisfaction. He thinks he has moves like Jagger, but they’re more like Keith Richards, and Bo ends up passed out on the living room floor. Being a nice guy and all, Chris gives Bo a lift back to his hovel and offers him his job back at Southfork. Bo proudly refuses.

John Ross and Pamela, still trying to pony up some cash for Ewing Energies’ Arctic exploration, decide to meet with an Arab sheikh that J. R. had been cozy with. They instead have a sitdown with the sheikh’s son who tells Junior that too much time has passed since J. R.’s death without even so much as phone call from the Ewings to just check in (apparently the sheikh and my grandma are in the same guilting bee). The sheik passes on whatever Junior’s selling. The young Ewing doesn’t give up so easily and manages to slither his way into a high stakes poker game that Sheikh and Son are playing in, using Pamela’s 18th century Russian earrings as collateral. The game gets hardcore and John Ross goes all in, even throwing J. R.’s watch into the pot. Though he has the superior hand, Junior throws the game and tells Pamela later that he’s won something else—the Sheikh’s respect. “Couldn’t he have just sent the guy a cookie bouquet and a note that says ‘Oops, my bad’?,” remarked my jewelry-loving wife, likely echoing poor Pamela’s thoughts. John Ross’ ploy pays off and the sheikh agrees to front the much-needed capital, and even gives back J. R.’s watch. Pamela loses her earrings, which are likely resting at the bottom of a tip jar in some seedy nightclub.

Bobby and Annie head to the booby hatch that Junior sent Sue Ellen off to at the end of last week’s episode. The hospital is reluctant to let her go and it doesn’t help that her upon admittance her blood type was classified as “high octane.” Bobby manages to get her released into his custody, and present to nullify John Ross’ control of her shares. He enlists the aid of an old college buddy and Goldman Sachs broker to underwrite the Ewing Energies IPO, in order to thwart whatever his nephew has planned. But two threats remain beyond the Ewings’ horizon.

Drew finds the original deed that J. R. used to screw the Ramos’ dad out of an oil well that proved to be a producer, while giving them a dud. Incensed that he had wasted years kicking himself for his father’s death that was actually due to J. R.’s greed, Drew decides to get proactively vengeful on the Ewing clan, despite his sister’s begging him to let she and Nicolas play out their scheme.

Speaking of long cons, we finally get to see Nicolas Trevino’s endgame. He and Hunter McKay (who apparently still carries his grandfather’s grudge against the Ewing family) meet with the Ochoa cartel, and Nicolas tells them that their plan of snatching up the controlling shares of Ewing Energies in the IPO is almost done. Afterward, he’ll turn the company over to the cartel to use as for money laundering. There just remains one likely impediment to the plan that needs dealing with: Nicolas’ “foster brother” Drew…


And that double-cross is what ends last night’s episode “Like a Bad Penny.” Be sure to turn up next week for the season finale!