Why We Live Here

Dallas is flat and ugly. It tries too hard to be an international city. The summers are insufferable. The people are all rednecks. So why do we live here? Here are 59 reasons.

1.    The most beautiful women in the world

2.    207 days of convertible weather

3.    The view of downtown from the 15th green at Stevens Park

4.    Doak Walker

5.    Turtle Creek Boulevard

6.    The speed limit on the Tollway

7.    Roger Staubach threw the first "Hail Mary" to Drew Pearson

8.    Passing the tip jar at Adair’s

9.    Michael Irvin’s mink

10.    White Rock Lake

11.    Tobogganing in a quarter inch of wet snow on Flagpole Hill

12.    Being able to park

13.    Cowboy boots at any occasion

14.    Jazz Under the Stars

15.    Tokalon Drive

16.    Last Call at Neiman’s

17.    The Dixie Chicks

18.    Super Bowls VI, XII, XXVII, XXVIII, XXX

19.    A grilled cheese and chocolate shake at Highland Park Pharmacy

20.    The 1936 Texas Centennial Exposition

21.    Deep Ellum

22.    Holiday lights in Highland Park

23.    The Greenville Avenue St. Paddy’s Day Parade

24.    Robocop used City Hall as the police HQ of the future

25.    Debbie did us

26.    Our founder, John Neely Bryan, thought he killed a man and died in an insane asylum

27.    The calf scramble at the Mesquite Rodeo

28.    We invented the shopping mall

29.    We invented the frozen margarita

30.    We invented the microchip

31. We shot J.R.

32.    "Howdy" is an acceptable greeting

33.    H. Ross Perot’s ears

34.    Bonnie and Clyde

35.    The Cattle Baron’s Ball

36.    The 4,535 pipes of the Lay Family Organ

37.    The Nasher Sculpture Center is coming

38.    Mark Cuban’s goofy enthusiasm, Jerry Jones’ Machiavellian enthusiasm, and Tom Hicks’ waning enthusiasm

39.    Mary Kay’s pink Cadillacs

40.    Tamales at Herrera’s with a brown-bagged six pack

41.    The back room of the Lounge at the Inwood Theatre

42.    We created both Barney and Doom

43.    Preston Trails is still men-only

44.    Fletcher’s Corny Dogs at the State Fair

45.    The Katy Trail

46.    It’s a three-hour flight to either coast

47.    A failed oilman and baseball team co-owner can become president

48.    Friday-night high school football

49.    Winter clothes go on end-of- season sales just when we need them

50.    The Free Advice Guys at White Rock

51.    The Trinity River (hopefully)

52.    Half Price Books

53.    Strip clubs

54.    WRR, the oldest radio station in Texas

55.    Sam Moon

56.    Mick Jagger married one of us

57.    T.D. Jakes moved here

58.    The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

59.    We’re not Houston