JACK RUBY’S JOCKSTRAP

R.I.P. “Jack Ruby left one hell of a strange situation when he died,” says lawyer peter Bargmann, who represents JULES F. MAYER, an 80-year-old Dallas attorney and the executor of Jack Ruby’s estate.

“It has degenerated into a lawyers’ gladiator contest.” says Austin attorney Jim Simons, the gladiator who represents the Ruby family.

The combatants refer to the personal effects of Jack Ruby, who died in 1967, four years after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald on November 24,1963. Camelot fell almost 30 years ago, but these guys are still fighting over the rights to, among other things, an undershirt Ruby bough at Sears.

It’s easy to see how assassination buffs might clamor for some bits of Rubiana. The smart Cavanagh hat, for instance, sports Ruby’s name in gold letters in the band. That would sure dress up a coffee table. Then there’s the dress shirt bearing the laundry mark “J.R.”-fodder for a nice trivia question. And for the grassy knoller who has everything, how about the mysterious letter from Ruby to a woman named Doris Warner, which is bound to be read by someone as proof of the Castro/Connally/ CIA theory?

Such items obvi- ously belong on the A List. But what about Ruby’s swim trunks and his rubber shower cap. which television replays clearly show he was not wearing on that fateful day? And who wants to buy Ruby’s athletic supporter? “Say babe, wanna come up and look at ol’ Jack’s jockstrap sometime?” Please.

The Ruby cache also includes a watch, a diamond ring, and of course the .38-caliber Colt Cobra pistol used in the shooting. Mayer claims the gun alone is worth $130,000, but the best offer for the whole shooting match was recently made by a Houston businessman who didn’t see it that way. He offered $120,000 for the entire Jack Ruby collection-lock, jock, and barrel.

Why are so many media types always carrying on about something called Louie’s on Henderson? Because owner Louie Cane-lakes’s joint is home away from home for scores of local press folks. Here’s Louie- and this is the only plug he gets. In this issue, anyway. . .